Makeup Looks I May As Well Have Cried On

Some Makeup Looks Inspired By The Sads

It's probably just me, but I'm starting to think Flaca's seminal Orange Is The New Black eye makeup is kind of acceptable. It's interesting, it's unusual, it's cute and it's scary: all my top makeup adjectives. The only problem is the connotation of murder, not something I really want to start messing around with. People think makeup is just superficial – it has deep sociological implications, mates! Be careful now.

Anyway, her teary eye socket got me thinking, I look cute when I cry, right? (Wrong). Well some people do, anyway. It's an evolutionary thing — crying makes people want to hug you, therefore they are tricked into finding you adorable! Obviously just bursting into tears on the street is not going to give the desired effect, so I started messing around with makeup to achieve a variety of teary eyed looks. They are variously abstract and thus variously unwearable, but nothing is really unwearable, is it? You'll be fine.

The easiest way to add a teary haze to your eye makeup is gloss. Tears are wet, and gloss looks wet, which is the next best thing. You can buy eye gloss (Milk Makeup does one I like), but I only had lip gloss on hand. I used two to be super extra.

Over the lid I blended the Almay Liquid Lip Balm in Nudetrients. What looks satisfyingly pale and iridescent in the tube comes out pretty much clear on the eye (or lip, if you're playing by the rules). Then on my inner corner I dotted some of the Sigma Beauty Lip Switch in Transcend. This is a cool thing: basically a clear gloss which reflects holographic blue. Blue is the color of water, aka tears, so that worked out. It looked subtle but sympathy-inducing.

The next stage up was a genuine post-cry eye. This is a shadowy, smudgy look, emphasizing tiredness and a delicate constitution. Cute!

For this look I used primarily the Revlon Colorstay ShadowLinks in Periwinkle. People criticize these eyeshadows for being a bit of a shambles, but the sheerness of the pigment (perhaps unintentional but that doesn't really matter) makes this a really nice wearable blue color. It also lets enough skin tone peep through to mimic under-eye post-cry shadows perfectly. To avoid looking too much like a real shadow, this contains a fine sliver glitter, which eye shadows (not eyeshadows) do not.

Because the tone of this blue was a bit too bright for my liking, I dipped into the pink Crease (lol, sorry) and the blue Definer from the Wet N Wild Poster Child Palette. This added a sheer murky purple tone to my sad eyes. Mascara and inner-corner highlight (Kevyn Aucoin Candlelight is gorgeous and subtle) help move this into "eyemakeup look" territory and away from "genuinely, this girl might need help."

I also wanted to do a look post-post-crying, when your eyes are irritated and sore. To do this I used the Wet N Wild Color Icon Eyeshadow in Cheeky, a raspberry-ish pink. I'm not raving about this shadow but it did the job I needed it to. I used a dampened brush to paint pink triangles on my inner and outer corners, winging the outer ones slightly. To deepen up the parts closest to my lash line (faking their more intense irritation) I used the same brush to apply a touch of the Rimmel Kate Moss Lasting Finish Lipstick in 104. Again, a good mascara will help this look be ugly-pretty as opposed to just-ugly. For all of these photos I am wearing Maybelline Full 'n' Soft Waterproof mascara.

For a more unified pink-faced look, I mixed some of the Rimmel lipstick with the Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector in Pearl and used it as a blush. It gave a good feverish flush. Finally, I used the lipstick on my lips (no way!) and tapped some of the Wet N Wild eyeshadow in the center to add sad poutiness.

The most insane look of all was inspired by the recent Pixiwoo Modern Goth Vamp Makeup video. I'm loving Sam recently – she just keeps doing mad makeup to avoid thinking about Brexit (I'm right with you there, mate). Anyway, at the end of said video, she applied MAC Reflects Pearl Glitter under her eyes and it looks like crystalline glittery tears falling on her face. Sounds weird, looked beautiful.

I can't find Mac Reflects Pearls anywhere, but I did find at Rite Aid a Jesse's Girl Pure Pigment Eye Dust in Starshine. This is a silver-white almost wet-look glitter, and it's $5. I picked up a whole bunch of product on a fluffy brush and sort of tapped it off under my lower lashes, hoping it was fall down in a teary fashion. The effect was a more opaque wash of shine that individual crystal tears, but ho hum. I guess this is sort of like "baking" (never done it) except with a glitter pigment, aka better.

To accentuate my new-found shiny angel eyes, I went for a pale purple-y lip, like I'm all frostbitten and cold but very pretty and ethereal. I used the Wet N Wild Color Icon Lip Gloss in Lilac Theater, which looks terrifying in swatch but super pretty patted in with a finger. I mixed the same gloss with Becca Pearl again (it really is an ace blush-mixing-medium, on top of everything else) to create a soft lilac cheek color.

What do you guys think? Would you try out cry-inspired eyes?

And if you don't want to talk about eyes anymore (I have typed the word eye too many times now anyway) we can just talk about OITNB if you want.