Since I'm a visual person I hardly ever remember the album title but I just remember what the album art looks like.
I’m not sure how I’d gone so long without trying out Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics' Lip Tar. Perhaps it was the price tag. Perhaps it was my fervor in making all kinds of unconventionally colored lipsticks from crayons. Perhaps it was because I’d stare at pictures of packaged Lip Tar for minutes at a time without being able to comprehend how a product that squeezes from a tube could in any way be matte.
Whatever the reason, it kept me from uniting with the One True Lipstick of my heart for far, far too long.
How do I love thee, Lip Tar? Let me count the ways. To start, I love you enough to break Iambic Pentameter to express my adoration, which is kind of a big deal. Feel special.
The color was incredibly intense, with a saturated opacity that I have yet to see in another lipstick. Applying it to my lips with the supplied brush was fantastically simple--no lip liner needed! The brush will give you all of the precision that you need to craft a stunning cupid’s bow, and their more translucent shades (like the enduringly sultry Black Dahlia,) can be layered somewhat to line the lips as you see fit.
On top of all this, Lip Tar comes in NSFW, the One Red To Rule Them All. It’s bold and bright and beautiful, just like all of the people who wear it.
All was going well in my and Lip Tar's new relationship until a hurricane raged through our blissful honeymoon period: this most beautiful and perfect of reds wouldn’t stay on my lips.
I remained unperturbed. Lip Tar and I had come this far, and we were going to make it. I would ensure that we’d make it. I would go down with this ship.
It was then that I devised a solution in a moment of inventiveness that comes from only the most inconsolably desperate place.
To start, you’ll need your matte Lip Tar in whatever shade of perfection you see fit. I’m using NSFW here, because it is still the very best red to have ever been on my face.
You’ll also need Make Up For Ever’s translucent HD Microfinish Powder and a kabuki brush.
Start with applying the Lip Tar. Take a few minutes to marvel at how perfect you look while wearing it, if you need to.
From there, tap some of your HD powder into the cap of the powder container, for easier access. Dab a healthy amount onto your finger, and dot the powder on your lips.
Some color will come off on your hands as you do this step, so it’s not a bad idea to keep the lip tar handy to touch up any areas that may get smudged. Prepare to look extra-super-hot when you’re done.
I’m not about to have you looking like Tyrone from Chappelle's Show, though, so the next step is to take a kabuki brush and use it to both apply more powder to your lips and even out the powder dots. I would suggest keeping a separate kabuki brush for this step, as a small amount of the lip color will get onto the brush as well.
You may have an ashy powder halo lingering around your lips after this step. You can get rid of it by dipping a cotton swab in lotion and wiping around the perimeter of your mouth.
The matte Lip Tar is now both actually matte and shielded against accidentally being wiped off.
Wearing the lipstick this way will keep it on your mouth through drinking, and eating food with utensils. It also held up mostly well when I messily devoured a test sandwich, so never again should you feel too afraid to rock the mouth-celebrating hues of Lip Tar when out and about.