Glossier's Black Tie Set Is a Great Makeup Look for Sulking Alone at a Holiday Party You Didn't Care to Go to Anyway

Also, every set comes with a free length of black ribbon.

There are few things that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside like leaving a party and thinking about what I want to eat when I get home, what I want to watch when I get home and what I want to mask as I'm watching that when I get home. Taking my party makeup off is like a nightly personal baptism for me but that is besides this point. The after party truly is where it's at, and lemme tell ya — afterparties at my house are like if a nightclub was a diner was a spa — everyone gets food, a nice slinky robe, socks, and premium face care in ambient lighting and we're quiet because that's how I like it.

I could be all, Ugh I hate parties they're so tedious sorry I'm late I didn't want to come but the truth is I don't get invited to parties every weekend because when you start turning down invites wholesale from the beginning people just stop inviting you to stuff. I understand that it is very "in" right now to dislike social situations but let's be real — we're all human and we all desire social contact at some point so if there are snacks there who am I to act above that? No one is above snacks. Also I have like... five friends and they all feel similarly about how they spend their social time, so we're good.

Party outfits and party makeup don't generally get subjected to the same treatment, and I feel like more people are concerned about what they're wearing on their bods than on their face, you know? I've never been that way because I like makeup more than clothes and I don't have that much clothes, let alone party clothes.

Which brings me to a holiday makeup set that's just as much for yourself as it is a gift-able item for your very well-behaved friend: Glossier's Black Tie Set

This isn't the first time Glossier's released some limited edition holiday makeup — there was that silver and gold liquid liner that I never got around to trying. But this is a whole she-bang full of products that you'll likely use well into 2017, the year of our melanin-enriched overlord.

Let's talk about them.

This is a deep metallic charcoal gray gel pencil liner. It has a spongey smudger on the opposite end, which I find invaluable since most of the time when I'm using a pencil liner, I'm smudging it — usually with a cotton swab but this makes that step much easier. Hurray! It glides on very smoothly with no dragging and leaves a ton of pigment. This sucker wears pretty well! I don't know if it's totally waterproof as I haven't had a chance to cry in it yet, but it has staying power under normal content circumstances.

Newsflash: I suck at swatching. I don't like swatching because the context is never accurate, but there really isn't a way to show highlighter details any other way so here's a weird close-up of my shiny hand. The Moonstone shade in Glossier's Haloscope highlighters is more white/silver than their Quartz shade (if you're familiar) and has micro-flecks of visible iridescent glitter. Visible flecks are a deal-breaker for many highlighter enthusiasts so I figured you should know this. It normally is for me, but this is a party set so I'm okay with it. It's more dewy than frosty, just like the other Haloscopes.

The lip gloss, I actually like. I say actually because I'm not a lip gloss person really. I like the look sometimes but I generally don't like the feel because it makes me feel like I went to town on a honey and molasses sandwich and didn't pack napkins. Also clear gloss is very polarizing. If you like the natural shade of your lips you probably don't have a problem with clear gloss, but my lips can be either a warm peach color or a grayish beige depending on how well they're taken care of and I find this perplexing and weird — something I don't necessarily want to highlight in gloss. What I do like about this gloss is that it doesn't feel oily or greasy! It feels like you're wearing a thick balm and lasts for a long time. You only just need to dab it on and smush your lips together to get a good amount on there — unless you like to glob it on in which case go for it.

The thing I like most about the polish is the bottle honestly. I'm not a pink person in general so this doesn't make me flip out, but I like small round things so that makes me flip out. As with many pale pastel nail polish shades, the formula is tricky. You need to work in really light layers to get a nice smooth coat. The first coat I did on one thumb was too thick and it dripped towards one end of my nail by the time I got around to the second coat and then that second coat dragged it into a gloopy gloop. If you've ever worn all white nail polish you probably feel me on this. So you've been warned.

Now how do these all look on a human face? Observe:

See — very versatile. It's almost like I'm not even going to a party at all! You can trick your face into going to a party by just putting on this regular-looking makeup.

Glossier's very chic lookbook that accompanies this set will showcase the makeup on girls dolled up in party frocks and very nice minimal jewelry but I don't necessarily think this is makeup to let your wardrobe shine — it's just pared down makeup for people who don't necessarily prefer bright colors or glitter.

I like a nice smudgy shadow underlining my eyes — it's a bit grunge-y and slightly "edgier" than a cat-eye, I think. I like the subtle haphazard glittery highlighter because it looks like I slept in makeup that was way more shimmery and this was the aftermath (afterparty makeup?). You can do a cat-eye with this pencil, since it's a nice dense gel formula, if that's more your speed. I appreciate that the gloss is very overachieving-lip-balm but it's making my inner southern debutante mentor come out like, wouldn't a little color on those lips make you look a bit more lively? Whatever, mom, smeared eyeliner and nothing else on is cool, okay? So is not brushing your hair, apparently.

Glossier's website says that at $50, this is a $68 value. I don't really see where that $68 came from since three of these are products they don't actually sell (yet). But for $50, it doesn't break the bank but it's in the outfield of impulse purchase territory for someone in my tax bracket. But if you think about it, spending $50 at Sephora on four products is a deal, so to each their own.

I like the set. I mostly like the eye pencil but the highlighter may need to get in line behind my RMS Living Luminizer and the other Haloscope in Quartz — that said, I'm about a minimal makeup look for parties. It sends an aura as if I go to so many parties that I cannot be bothered to pull out any special makeup looks for it. I'm also about any imperfect makeup look that can serve as a silent beacon to other not-so-party-animals at the party to meet me at the snack table so we can quietly conspire about what we're planning on doing once we get out of here (which usually involves more snacks).

I mean, if I can click with one person at a party and come away with a friend (and I don't mean a dude who keeps texting you even though you're not that interested, although sometimes their blindly fumbling interest is a nice ego-boost), I consider that a successful night out.

  • Y'all stoked on this holiday makeup set from Glossier?
  • How long is an acceptable time to spend at a party before thinking about leaving?
  • Is everyone hanging out without me?