Let's Get Weird: (Almost) All Green Makeup

Basically everything but the blush.

I’m really into green. Everyone looks nice in it. It’s the color of money and nature and other substances I enjoy surrounding myself with. Also, emerald is my birthstone and the prettiest. Whaddup, May babies?

Green is PERFECT for makeup because green is the color of envy, and that’s what everyone should feel when they look at you.

But also green is perfect for when you want to look like an alien. I’m really into aliens.

So, maybe bookmark this shtick for Saint Patrick’s Day if you’re Irish, or Christmas if you’re particularly Grinchy like myself. Or Halloween! Or this weekend!

Cue up that Kermit the Frog song and pour yourself a green smoothie. Or some Mountain Dew. To each their own. Let’s get weird.

I started with the bright green shade from Milani’s Runway Eyes palette (“Glamorous Gems”). It’s a bright and shimmering shade, and definitely green.

Then I took my CoverGirl Queen Collection Vivid Impact Eyeliner in Jade and penciled it onto the outer edge of my eyelid. This stuff is such a pretty color and glides on really smooth.

Then I used a combination of a small, stiff bristled eyeshadow brush and the liner’s built-in smudger to blend the two colors together like the waves of our beautiful and polluted oceans.

Now if you are feeling in any way like a normal human with rational thoughts and a regular heartbeat, you’d stop here. You’d toss on some black mascara, maybe a pretty pink lip, and saunter out the door, like, “Hey world, I have thoughts you’re gonna listen to!” But you’re not a normal human, because stability is BASIC.

So I applied several layers of Rimmel’s Extra POP Lash in “Pop Green” to my upper and lower lashes. Then, I used a teeny paintbrush to line some of the mascara under my eyes.

Then, using Lauren’s tutorial, I melted down a green Crayola crayon into lipstick. I mixed it with some Maybelline Baby Lips in “Minty Sheer” which has the slightest lime green tint to it and makes lips feel super-soft. Like a baby’s, I guess. I’ve never kissed a baby.

Oh, I smudged a little bit of that green shadow into my brows.

Then I pinned my hair back with some green Jane Tran bobby pins, threw on something green, and Hulked the eff out.

Do I look like a sexy Shrek? Does this look make you wanna buy frozen vegetables from me? There is SO MUCH green inspiration in this world. Life is beautiful and precious. Tell me about your favorite green thing.

Unless you’re a hater, in which case.