I Have the Skin-Care Routine of a Drifter: Help Me Before It’s Too Late!

By rights I should have terrible skin -- somehow I’m getting away with it for the moment -- but I know my time is going to be up soon and suddenly I’ll look like a bashed in old shoe.
Publish date:
August 28, 2012

Despite being a complete slave to the corporate beauty machine, with half my wages being hemorrhaged on lotions and potions and lovely things every month, I rather surprisingly actually have the skin care routine of that dude who's been crashing on your couch for two months.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried cleansing, toning and moisturizing, I’ve polished and buffed like a good’un, I’ve bought funny little scrubbing mitts and muslin cloths, I’ve used facial peels and masques and spent as long as I could cope with my face shoved into a facial sauna before feeling claustrophobic and declaring NEVER AGAIN.

I’ve tried to have a proper night time routine -- brush teeth, cleanse face, apply night cream, let Chris play with my bum for a bit, it’s only fair -- but when it comes down to it I just can’t commit. I’m slovenly, a skin care slattern! By rights I should have terrible skin -- somehow I’m getting away with it for the moment -- but I know my time is going to be up soon and I’ll be fucked, and suddenly I’ll look like a bashed in old shoe.

Currently my beauty routine looks a lot like this:


Remove last night’s make up with a baby wipe. Splash cold water on face. Rub dry with a towel. Use L’Oreal Triple Active Day Cream (even I know that it’s not worth being lazy when it comes to SPF! Use it or lose it, sista.)

Apply full face of make-up on the train.


Go to bed in make-up. Dream lovely, borderline sexual things about the new limited edition red Chanel compact.

That’s it. I’m actually quite ashamed reading it back! I need to seriously revise my routine, and start taking care of my pores before they angrily rebel and I break out. I’ve done some research, and here are some MUST DO’S from those in the know.

Hot Cloth Cleansing

OK so this seems to be the key to clear, shiny, rejuvenated skin. And it doesn’t even seem that hard, either, so I can’t really moan. Liz Earle’s Cleanse and Polish HCC cleanser comes with its own handy little muslin so I can’t even say “BUT I CAN’T ! I’D HAVE TO USE A SOCK!”. You smooth onto dry skin, and rinse out the muslin with warm water and buff off the product. It works by opening the pores, lifting out all the gunk and leaving skin soft like a baby’s. It does smell dreamy, I’ll give it that, and users of it are evangelical about how well it works. Do you use it? Obviously if you have a Clarisonic, then this is a bit of a step down, but I’m not quite there yet.


So I wake up with no mascara clagging around my eyes, and no black eye-bogeys. It’s an HCC miracle!! What shall I do with my new, sparkly skin? Why, I should smother it in the latest in antioxidant, hyaluronic-acid-containing wonder product! Serums are so hot right now and it’s easy to see why when you have products such as Estee Lauder’s Advanced Night Repair winning award after award for being so brilliant, and claiming “Exclusive Chronolux™ Technology helps reduce the appearance of past damage. Visible signs of ageing look improved-specifically lines, uneven skin tone and immediate hydration.” Sounds worth a punt, no? And applying serum is so quick and easy, even I can manage it. Simply pipette a couple of drops onto fingertips, and smooth onto the face and neck. Some serums also eliminate the need to use primer, which I’m all for, being short of time. You don’t have to spend mega bucks, either.


GOOD NEWS, SLOBS! You don’t need to do this! It’s completely unnecessary. Sure, go ahead if you like the smell or the way it feels, but it’s not actually something that makes any difference to your actual skin. Beauty guru Sali Hughes told me, so it’s definitely true.

I’m interested to find out what your skin care routine is. Are you lazy like me, or do you have shelves full of wonder products? What has worked for you? Have you found a holy grail product that’s completely revolutionized your skin?

Talk to me, kids.

Tweet me your recommendations, and what you’re having for dinner. I care! (I’m hungry) @Natalie_KateM