It's gonna get sappy up in here.
Halloween is a BIG DEAL in Hollywood. And, no wonder: It's a land full of costume designers, actors, wig makers, makeup artists, and weirdos.
(I say this in the most loving way, of course. I've never felt so at home and genuinely like the person I'm supposed to be in this strange, dirty place.)
Although it's hands-down my favorite holiday, like nearly every human who cares about having an excuse to dress up as an alter-ego that lives deep inside his or her being and eating a bunch of fun-sized candies near bearded men in banana suits at a backyard party, I'm usually scrambling for a Halloween costume at the last minute. Which is when I end up being something pre-packaged or, um, "dead."
This year, I'm no longer friendless and watching "Carrie" on my couch, as I may or may not have been doing last Halloween. (Why does it always take a full year to make friends in a new city?)
Rather: My house is throwing a Halloween party! And I got invited to a Halloween-themed wedding!(!!) So I thought I should put a little more effort into my costumes.
Then, shit, I ran out of time.
So I ran to the drugstore.
THROWN TOGETHER COSTUME #1: CREEPY DOLL/GOTH TEEN/SEXY WEDNESDAY ADDAMS
My friend Harold's Halloween-themed wedding came swiftly and suddenly this past weekend. He and his dude have been together for nearly 25 years, and they throw a massive Halloween party annually. This year, they decided to spend the holiday making their vows.
I knew they had built a mausoleum for their altar and hired makeup artists for their whole wedding party. So pre-packaged costumes were out of the question, immediately.
"A 'Creepy Doll' will be easy!" I thought to myself whilst imagining an adorable, spoOoooOky costume. I already had a black lace dress, so I figured this getup would be all about the makeup.
Then I googled "creepy doll makeup" and got kind of scared.
I picked up a thick crayon of white eyeliner, false lashes, the brightest pink cream blush and the palest powder I could find, and some inexpensive eyeliner. I already had black nail polish, plus my usual supply of all of the makeup.
I coated my face in primer and that pale-pale powder, heavily applied the white eyeliner on my waterline, traced that with the black liner, did a dramatic smoky eye with neutral and black shadows, patted the cream blush on my cheeks, and caked on some black lipstuffs.
For my hair, I used hair chalk from Slovenia I just had lying around (as one does).
Disclaimer: Hair chalk from Slovenia will take more than a few hours to arrive! But braiding my hair into pigtails was easy. Then I straightened the shit out of my bangs (ALREADY SO HORRIFYING!) and used Bumble and Bumble's Lavender Spraychalk to make my 'do look like that of a corpse-Barbie. Then I clipped Remington's bow hair barrettes to the ends of both braids.
I'm not completely sure that my creepy doll look came across -- in the future, I would've painted my lips on smaller and more, uh, doll-like. But my costume was a hit and someone thought I was a "Sexy Wednesday Addams" so whatever.
THROWN TOGETHER COSTUME #2: GLAMOUR PUSS
"Where are you going to wear THAT?" some friends inquired when I showed them my most beloved new purchase.
"We ask questions later," I hissed back.
OH MY GORGEOUS, CRITICAL ANGELS, DID I FIND A PLACE TO WEAR IT: The World Famous Magic Castle! Where you eat meat and see magicians do weird things with cards and marionettes!
I found some dumb plastic cat ear headbands at Target that came in a pack of like, 5 for $5 and thought it would be nice to get them for my one million roommates -- or perhaps I was feeling overwhelmed by the depleting supply of Halloween goods and knew purchasing something, ANYTHING, would give me that calming rush of serotonin, like the one I got from buying that wonderful Wildfox gown.
Those cat ears that every store inevitably has 'round this time of year + a ridiculous dress you'll never wear in real life + a dope coat certain other friends enabled me to buy last year + a YouTube makeup tutorial that's not that hard to create, I swear = And you've got a Glamour Puss.
I used the same makeup I used for the Creepy Doll/Total Goth Teen look that I used at the Halloween wedding, along with a few swatches from Too Faced's Pretty Rebel Palette.
And I used the Wet n Wild eyeliner and a couple Lime Crime lip stains to create the ridiculous muzzle that a REAL LIFE MAKEUP ARTIST touched up for me later that night. (Real.)
As for my thrown-together costume for our house party this week, here's a clue. (Giving you a smoldering look...)
Your turn! Show us your best last-minute Halloween costumes. PIKACHU, GO!
And talk Pika to me on Twitter: @caitlinthornton