It's gonna get sappy up in here.
These things pictured here are Fred Butler Designer Soaps -- cool, right? They're all the rage in the UK right now, if you care.
I have no idea what these are even supposed to look like -- gemstones? geodes? -- but whatever, just know that I want them. Apparently they smell like or are inspired by alcohol, which is good enough for me. There are three different kinds of soaps: the Stawberry Daquiri, the “zesty” Tequlia Sunrise (gross) and the Minty Mojito. Whatever! They are appealing! And zany. I want to stab myself with them.
Who is Fred Butler? Well, for one, she is a woman. Yes. Secondly (is that a word?), she designed Lady Gaga’s crazy telephone hat, pictured here:
Is that enough to make you care about her? No? Oh well.
Look, it’s been a rough couple of weeks around here, so you should feel happy to be getting any content from me at all. This morning at daybreak I was alone in bed reading celebrity gossip on the Internet! Have you ever seen this terrifying Kris Kardashian video “I Love My Friends,” in which the Abominable Matriarch sings badly -- terribly -- and creepily, about enjoying shopping at Valentino and loving O.J. Simpson? It’s super-weird. And in the end all three Big 3 Kardashian sisters get songwriting credits. Super-weird.
I watched that just after 6 am, which is when I ran out to mail my November rent check at the mailbox around the corner. I forget to pay my rent every month and my landlords HATE me. They really, seriously hate me. I’m surprised that I still even get to live here.
What else did I find on the Internet? Oh! Karl Lagerfeld came out with all of these fantastic KARL-y beauty products for French Sephora, aka one of my favorite websites to waste time not working on. Also, Karl Lagerfeld and I share a birthday, so I try to report on all things September 10th-y like that.
These are the Karl Lagerfeld Holiday Collection for Sephora France items I am most obsessed with:
Check out this eye shadow palette and tell me it's not worth the shipping and handling from France? Please! It so is. And that's not all; look at this luxe nail polish set:
Do you not just die for it? I know you do. There's also a snow globe (don't even get me started on the doll):
So the question becomes, who is going to Paris soon and can get me these things? I don't even love Chanel or Karl that much; I just like weird beauty-related stuff. And also, we share a birthday. He obsessively collects books just like I do and likes to stay inside and read rather than deal with real life, so maybe that's a September 1oth thing.
I'm also majorly obsessing over these Model's Own BEETLEJUICE Nail Lacquers from the UK, which were inspired by the beautiful wings of beetles (whatever):
They are only about $7 apiece (without shipping into the States) -- worth it, I think!
You like? I should probably be finding you products that you don't have to import from another continent, but alas.