IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Downward-Dogged With Bruce Willis. (PLUS: There's a Fragrance for That!)

Or, more precisely, a cologne. A BRUCE WILLIS COLOGNE.

Aug 24, 2011 at 1:21pm | Leave a comment

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Did you know that Bruce Willis has a fragrance? He does! I haven’t actually smelled it, but I imagine that it’s every bit as sexy as he is. I mean, I personally don’t find him wildly sexy – if I was going to have sex with anyone in that clan, I’d definitely go with Demi – but I appreciate a hulky bald movie star vinyasa-ing across the room from me in the yoga studio on the fourth floor of the urban paradise that is Equinox Soho.

(Incidentally, I have so much good stuff to say about Equinox in another post, and not just because I’m trying to score a free membership. Have you been? It’s beyond.)

Anyway, the Bruce Willis cologne (or wait -- is it a perfume? let's say it's unisex): Do you die? It’s products like these that make me proud to be a beauty editor. I don’t really know what that statement means, but just go with it. It’s the last two weeks of August and I’m not fucking Tolstoy. I’m not even James Frey! And he’s the worst writer in the world (if you disagree, read “Bright Shiny Morning” and get back to me – I would have rather read a dick! [I like his writing, but haven't read "Bright Shiny Morning." ]).

More about the fragrance, which isn't that new but, again, whatever -- the rep from the company who made is is quoted thusly: "I personally feel that the new Bruce Willis fragrance is the manliest scent in the world." HOLLA. Bruce added, "The development of my new fragrance with the very committed and passionate LR [Health and Beauty Systems] team was really a lot of fun."

Blah blah blah and a bunch of other stuff. Get this for your boyfriend -- and here comes the broken record -- I would IF I had a boyfriend, which I have never. The tagline for the stuff is "Smart guys live forever." Do you really need to know anything else? 

[Update: I could only find it available to buy online from Denmark. Sooo ... get shopping, all you DIE HARD Bruce fans. HAHAHAHAHA sorry.]

ANYWAY, what other movie stars do you think should have a fragrance? Where is Eau de Sharon Stone? I’d bathe in it and demand to be embalmed in it when I die. You?

P.S. Jane, have you boned Bruce Willis? No comment in my comments section means YES!