I’m So Sorry, Baby: How to Apologize To Your Hair For All That You Do To It

In essence, I did to my hair what my last boyfriend did to me: took me for granted and treated me like crap.
Publish date:
April 1, 2013
shoppables, hair, damaged hair

I’ve been bad...bad to my hair...and that ain’t good.

I’m not talking about breaking the law or even cheating on my boyfriend. I’m talking about the fact that I done wrong...I done wrong to my hair. I mistreat it, I take it for granted, I don’t use (heat) protection when I should. Damn, I’m a bad, bad woman and I need to apologize before it’s too late.

In essence, I did to my hair what my last boyfriend did to me: took me for granted and treated me like crap. I had the good sense to exit when I did, but my hair isn’t so fortunate. It’s attached to my head. But it let me know that things had to change: breakage, split ends and dryness led to lack of manageability and general lifelessness. It effectively changed the locks and when I tried to snuggle up to it and get it to do what I wanted it to do, it wasn’t having any of it.

So, you know, like anyone in an unhealthy relationship, I started to look for ways I could say I was sorry. I mean, I love my hair, I had no idea what I was doing, that flatiron didn’t mean anything to me, baby. Oh wow, did I want my dry, lifeless hair to embrace me the way my healthier, undamaged hair did. I wanted to make things right, but I had done so much wrong. Oh, hair, please, please come back.

Alright, so I kept reading about these repairing shampoos and conditioners that supposedly undo damage. Like a frantic lover, I grabbed a hold of a few and the first up was L’Oreal Advanced Haircare Total Repair 5, which is a system that uses ceramide to repair the five signs of damage in one use and keeps it going with continued use. Would my hair take me back to our days of silky smoothness and shine? I lowered the lights, threw on some Barry White, lit some candles and applied the masque to dry hair.

I left it on for 30 minutes, then washed it out with the shampoo and conditioner. After blowing it smooth on a low setting (I don’t air dry, but I do use the lowest heat setting possible,) let me be the first to tell you that I am stunned, shocked and totally back in with my hair: the stuff works, people. It really does. My strands were super soft, silky smooth and bangable. It worked: I had my hair back. Now, don’t get it twisted: I still need to trim my ends, but everything else? I’m back in good with the hair and I don’t plan on screwing up again.

Since that warm, fabulous time, I have tried a few other hair masques and once a week, my hair and I sit down on Sunday night with Revenge, a cup of something special and one of the following hair masques that deliver like Domino’s when it comes to weekly repair:


Neutrogena Triple Moisture Deep Recovery Hair Mask- for under $10, this is hands down one of the best for your money. Packed with olive, meadowfoam seed and sweet almond extracts, it penetrates deeply into your hair to give it the love it’s been missing.

Redken Extreme Strength Builder Plus - This amazing hair mask, which also contains ceramide, also contains a protein complex and intense shine builder to help fortify your hair from the inside out but also adding intense shine, which is a sign of hair health. And, you know, it’s the milkshake that brings peeps to your yard.

Kerastase Nutritive Masqueintense Highly Concentrated Nourishing Treatment - This is when you have to call in the calvary and you’ve done something horrible, like doubling up chemical treatments or completely stripping your color. It’s the hair equivalent of a couples therapy session and the treatment packs all the “ides” (glucides, protides and lipi des) that will infuse your hair with essential fats and strength builders to help you get back into your hair’s good graces. It’s not cheap, but if you’ve really done wrong, this is the most effective apology.

Also, on top of that, I have learned and worship organic coconut oil. That is like the gift that keeps on giving, flowers you bring “just because” or date night on a random Monday. It delivers like Domino’s.

But at the end of it, I’m still me and I can still be a dog. I still use heat on my hair, but only once a week (it’s like I tell my hair I love it, then smack it around a bit...I know, it’s wrong.) I still chemically process my hair, but that’s nothing new. Eventually, most of us do something wrong. It’s the recovery, not the fumble, in my opinion. Right now, this is how I recover and it’s working just fine.

At the end of the day, when a product works, I want to tell you about it. These L’Oreal products and the amazing conditioner alternatives I’ve listed? They’re amazing, period. You’ve done wrong? Do something right and get some of these deep conditioners, then snuggle up with your hair once a week and apologize. It’s just the right thing to do.

Ok, so let’s hear from you. Do you have a destructive relationship with your hair? How do you apologize to your hair? Which products have you used to repair or soothe damage? Let’s spend some time together in the comments section.