xoVain Open Thread: Nope

A shortlist of beauty topics that make me want to scream and throw stuff.
Publish date:
May 2, 2014
open thread, Lloyd Dobler, nope, Say Anything

I've been on a lot of airplanes recently, and for whatever reason, Delta has been celebrating the '80s, which extended to its in-flight entertainment, so I found myself re-re-rewatching, oh, for the 300th time, Say Anything.

There are many moments I love in the movie, but one that resonates with me, even after all these years, is the speech Lloyd Dobler gives when he's at Diane Court's house for dinner. Diane's dad asks him, "What are your plans for the future?" And Lloyd answers thusly:

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

That speech gets me EVERY TIME. Because it sums up my feelings as a journalist, in general, and a beauty editor, in particular: I don’t want to write about BS, and I don’t want you to buy BS, and I don’t want to sell you BS by writing about BS. And when I get beauty pitches that are BS, I just feel like, UGH, you know? BE BETTER THAN THIS. Because I’m not here for that and neither are you. Nope.

Here’s some of what I'm talking about:

• Any product that refers to the vagina as “down there” or “your hoo-hoo,” or some other cutesy name. (I suppose I don’t mind “ladyparts,” but still. Come on.) Nope.

• Any product or procedure that makes you feel bad or fearful about getting older. Nope.

• Any product that says it will help get you into "bikini-ready shape." Who the hell gets to decide what shape constitutes bikini-ready? Who even has time to worry about that? Nope.

• Any product that numbs your feet from the pain of wearing high heels. Pro tip: No shoes, however cute, are worth actual PAIN. Nope.

• OR WORSE, THIS: "Cinderella Surgery" On The Rise In US; Women Reshape Feet To Better Fit Into Expensive Heels. NOPE x INFINITY.

• Any product that makes you feel bad about the color of your skin and wants you to alter that color. Nope.

• Any product that is just plain insulting. Nope, nope, nope.

OK, so what are some beauty products/topics YOU never want to read about or are just totally over?

And you can use this space to help each other solve your current beauty dilemmas--that's cool, too.

Take it away. Open thread.