Oh, don't pretend like you don't have one!
I hated watching sitcoms growing up. I felt like I lived in one day to day, so watching the Homer Simpsons and Al Bundys of late '80s early '90s TV reminded me too much of real life to fully enjoy. Sure, it was funny, but hearing my dad’s overzealous cackle at every shitty thing Al did to Peggy in Married With Children made my blood turn cold, even as a six-year-old.
Now, when I watch clips and episodes here and there, I see more of the power, wit, and allure of Peg Bundy and the actress behind her, Katey Sagal. For this reason, I wanted to give her all of my Halloween love, and to share it with you, reclaiming that bodacious babe once and for all.
Peggy Bundy was unapologetically sexy, annoying, and selfish. Not an ideal role model at face value, but if you look deeper and see the satire in the character, you will bow down. All in all, they were dysfunctional, but they really loved each other—something I am all too familiar with. Being Peggy might help me shake off my bad memory association with Married With Children and give me some perspective to move forward with.
To become Peg, first you need a great red wig, unless you are currently rocking an on-point auburn. It can’t be too orange or too dark, but you certainly need bangs.
The rest of the look is doable with most people’s typical makeup selection, but easy to cop on the cheap from the drugstore if you don’t have the right stuff on hand. The basic Peg Bundy involves a smudge-y eye, a very bright ‘80s cheek, and a good brick-red lip.
First, I hit my whole base with Too Faced’s Born This Way foundation in Natural Beige. It cocktails well, allowing me to add a bit of dimension via Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector in Opal. I avoided heavy highlighters or anything that would undo the flatter looks of foundations past.
Going from Dani to Peg started with slightly less intense brows. I used Jane Cosmetics All Angles Always Eyebrow Pen in Dark Brown only in strategic areas.
Grabbing some eye color to accent eyes, I brushed on a light hand of Color Design Eyeshadow from Lancôme in Smoldering Cocoa. Then, I smudged a quick line of Palladio Fifty-Fifty Smoky Kajal Liner into my lash line, blending with the brown into the outer third of the lid.
Last but not least, I drew a subtle and thin partial cat eye from the middle of the top lid and the last third of the bottom using Chacott Quick Eyeliner Pen in Brown.
Peggy's cheeks are akin to Pat Benatar's—a dramatic stripe of bold color just under the cheekbones—where today we would use bronzer or contour colors. I used Urban Decay Afterglow 24 Hour Powder Blush in Quiver with a blush brush and dabbed on Josie Maran Coconut Water Cheek Gelée for added pop on the apples.
Red lips in the ‘80s and into the final days of Married With Children almost always involved a bit of lip liner. Kryolan’s 908 red Contour Pencil makes a great stencil to draw in a sharper cupid’s bow to get even more of Peggy’s dynamite lip line. Filling in with some of my favorite drugstore red, Really Red by Revlon, completes the look.
Throw on your finest leopard or leotard (or leopard leotard), some leggings, and a pair of Al Bundy-approved pumps, and you’re good to go trick-or-treating to relive your Wanker County heyday.
I won’t be partying too much this year, but I will be waiting to see all of your costumes and hear about the fun!