Oh, don't pretend like you don't have one!
I don't have any problem walking in heels. As a kid, I walked everywhere on my tip toes (my best friend's mom would yell at me for it because it's totally normal to scold someone else's child for a physical quirk), and I guess I just have naturally high arches, so I can walk in a pair of four-inch heels without hobbling around like a confused fawn/newborn giraffe/baby racehorse (you choose).
That said, of course they're not the most comfortable option of footwear. Of course some sort of combination between a moccasin, a bunny that died of natural causes, and a memory foam pillow is what most of us would prefer to walk around on.
But flats aren't always the sexiest or most stylish option, especially when you're of average height and have short, muscular legs like myself. Heels make me feel long and lean and powerful, so I throw comfort out the door and stomp it out in skyscraper shoes.
Last Sunday, I decided an outing to the flea market meant throwing on a pair of Joe Fresh ankle boots, recently scored on sale for $4.94, down from $99. (Seriously. I have the best luck with sales. I once got a $2400 RM Roland Mouret dress for $2, but that's another story for another day and my parentheses for this article have already reached their limit.)
Anyway, the boots have a chunky four-inch heel and absolutely no platform but are still relaxed-looking enough for a weekend afternoon day trip that I figured would last two hours max.
I left the house around 2 pm and headed to the market, did some excellent shopping, ate loads of delicious food, and left after two hours. Then my sister and I decided to head down to one of my favourite bakeries. Then we thought it'd be a good idea to check out Joe Fresh (nothing was on sale). Oh, and then we thought it'd be a great idea to go to the bulk food store on the other side of downtown.
To summarize, we did a lot of walking. By the time we got to the bulk food store I may have been quietly sobbing to myself as I scooped raw cashews and Epsom salts into flimsy plastic bags. As I was scooping up those very Epsom salts, I decided that when I got home, I was gonna treats my feets.
The truth is, I never really take care of my feet. I mean, I wash them and I keep my toenails cut and clean but I never get pedicures and rarely paint my nails on my own. I just don't care that much, and when I have gone to get pedicures, I always end up almost accidentally toeing the nail technicians in the eye as they file away at my incredibly ticklish toes.
But after roughly four and a half hours of clomping around in heavy, high boots, I knew my feet needed some TLC, and this time, there would be scrubs.
When I got home, my first course of action was to soak my poor feet. (Unlike Faz, the goal of my soak was relief more so than beauty.) I filled the tub with hot water and a generous handful of Epsom salts and sat ankle-deep for about 10 minutes.
Now, I don't need to link you to a page where you can buy epsom salts. You're all grown-ups. If you really want to buy Epsom salts online instead of, I don't know, walking down the street to the drugstore and buying a bag for less than $5, fine, that's your prerogative. Google "buy Epsom salts" or whatever. But I'm not going to encourage the payment of shipping and handling fees for EPSOM SALTS, OK? So let's move on.
After that, I towel-dried my feet and then smeared on Lush Volcano Foot Mask. This stuff has a bunch of soothing ingredients, along with antifungal stuff for those of you with weird-smelling feet (I mean if you have a serious fungus maybe go see a doctor?), as well as cinnamon leaf oil to boost circulation.
You're supposed to wrap your feet with cling wrap and let them sit for 10 minutes, but I didn't have any, so I used empty bags from the bulk food store like a pathetic person.
After a while, your feet start to tingle and feel really cool and fun and basically it's like you're throwing a party for your feet! Who doesn't love that?
When the stuff has dried, you can add a bit of water and scrub away at the mixture because there's a pumice solution included in the mask that doubles as a scrub.
I'm a fan of overkill, so I added in another scrub, A Beautiful Life I Heart Unicorns Sparkling Body Scrub, because we should all treat our feet with the same respect we offer to unicorns. And also because this scrub smells amazing, with notes of peppermint, lemon and frankincense. Everytime I use it I want to eat it. I haven't, though. Yet.
So once all of the mask had been removed and my feet were glistening and soft like the face of a fresh-out-of-the-womb newborn, I towel-dried them again in preparation for the final step: LOTION!
You can't just do all that work and then not put on any moisturizer. I don't own any foot lotion right now. OK, wait, I do, but I forget where it is, so I just used Mountain Ocean Skin Trip Moisturizer because it smells amazing, absorbs quickly, and has super-moisturizing lanolin in it.
I am here to report that a day later, my feet are super-smooth, pain-free, and don't smell gross, which is pretty much how they always are, but GREAT SUCCESS!
Now tell me about your favourite pair of shoes and how you recover from wearing them, OK?