Boob News: Breast Lifts Are On The Rise (Get It?!)

Breast implants are still the most popular cosmetic surgery for women, but rack-hoisting operations are increasing at twice the rate.

Can you believe I haven't written an article about breasts in eight months? Blasphemy, right? Well, luckily, there are some new statistics about boob jobs that have inspired me to get back in the swing of things.

Speaking of swinging: saggy boobs. A lot of ladies have them, and while they're nothing to be ashamed of, an increasing number of women are opting for breast lifts in order to "fix" theirs. In fact--and this is where the statistics come in--breast lift surgeries are growing in popularity at a rate twice as fast as breast implant surgeries.

"Since 2000, breast lifts have grown by 70 percent, outpacing implants two-to-one," a statement from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons reads.

What's the difference, you ask? Quite a bit.

"A breast lift, also known as mastopexy, raises the breasts by removing excess skin and tightening the surrounding tissue to reshape and support the new breast contour," according to ASPS. It doesn't make boobs any bigger, nor does it make their upper area look fuller. That's where implants come in.

"Breast augmentation can increase the fullness and projection of your breasts," ASPS says, but they also note that it doesn't correct super-droopy boobs (not the words they used). "If you want your breasts to look fuller and to be lifted due to sagging, a breast lift may be required in conjunction with breast augmentation."

Some experts say the rise in weight-loss surgery could be partly fueling the rapid growth in breast lift procedures, since weight loss can make breasts appear saggier. But is it just me, or does it seem entirely possible that the aforementioned "in conjuction" thing could be the driving force behind the rise in breast lift popularity? I mean, who goes to their plastic surgeon and says, "Hey doc, gimme big boobs, but let's keep them as pendulous as possible"?

So, how do you know if you "need" a breast lift, or a breast lift and implants? The good ol' pencil test! No, seriously. A press release I got from plastic surgeon David Cangello, MD, suggests exactly that.

"To perform the pencil test, a woman simply places a pencil under her breast. If the breast tissue holds the pencil in place against the chest, it implies that there’s a hanging nature to the breast that can be fixed with a lift." OK, so basically I've qualified for a breast lift since I was 12. Cool.

"If the pencil falls, it implies that the breast has lost volume ... often times, an implant is needed along with a lift in order to really rejuvenate the breast so that it appears more youthful." How youthful are we talking if I could already hold a pencil under my boob at age 12?

Anyway, despite the New Millennium Breast Lift Explosion (adding that to my list of hypothetical band names), breast implants don't need to worry about their popularity (did I just anthropomorphize breast implants?). In 2013, there were more than 90,000 breast lifts performed by ASPS-member surgeons, but there were almost 300,000 breast augmentations. That's basically the entire population of Aurora, Illinois. Shwing!

Have you ever considered getting a breast lift or implants? Have you already undergone either procedure? You don't have to tell us, of course, but you're welcome to share your experience in the comments.