Beauty Products To Steal From Babies, Because What Are They Going To Do About It?

And while you're at it, steal candy from babies, too. Babies shouldn't be eating candy.

I’ve spent a lot of time around babies. I’m in the older generation of a 30-plus cousin family, and I’ve babysat a fair amount in my day.

While babysitting has its setbacks (anyone else dread the moments as a tween when the parents came back and deliberated over who would drive you home, and inevitably it was always the dad, and you were like ughhhh, and then an inappropriate song would come on the car radio and you had to think of sensible topics of conversation since you were supposedly mature enough to care for their children when really you just wanted to be like IDK DUDE I’M JUST TWO YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR KID AND FRANKLY HIS VOCAB IS FAR SUPERIOR TO MINE, SO REALLY I’M NO HELP AT ALL HERE, and the wait at a red light seemed eternal?), it also definitely has its perks: all-you-can-eat crackers and string cheese, being paid to watch reality shows while the kids are asleep, and unlimited information about the best baby products on the market.

That’s right: baby products! Prone to skin irritations, I’ve sought out and garnered plenty of knowledge over the years on baby products so gentle, moisturizing and deliciously scented that I’ve purchased them for my very own adult self.

And now I will share that knowledge with you, so you’re welcome.


We’ll begin with Tiny Tillia Hand Sanitizer, the best hand sanitizer around. The Flower Power scent smells SO GOOD, without a hint of the usual isopropyl/permanent marker. I suggest buying it now while it’s still available, as this product is highly coveted and very hard to find. (Or maybe it just isn’t manufactured anymore since the company was bought by Avon, but a select few bottles are still available on Amazon, so get to it).

Also, we all know Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day products are earth-friendly, cruelty-free, and adorable, right? Right. But if you’re like me and you find some scents a little too pungent (basil and lavender to be specific--no offense, Myers), the Baby Blossom line of hand soaps and lotions smells amazing and is not at all overpowering.


Remember Ivana, my mom’s “biologist”? She firmly upholds that Johnson’s Baby Shampoo is the safest, gentlest and overall best shampoo for sensitive scalps. Not that I have one or anything. I just… happen to know a lot about it… just ‘cause.

The shampoo is super-mild and free of formaldehyde--this stuff is made for BABIES. So it won’t irritate your skin.


So, I don’t know about you, but I hate touching my skin with dirty subway hands; that inevitably leads to breakouts.

Enter the Mustela Hydra-Stick! It’s lightweight, compact, and because it’s solid, you can tell your dirty fingers to STAY OUT OF IT. It’s great for traveling, and you can use it as a lip balm, too!

Baby Silk Babysafe Suncsreen Towelettes by MD Moms are a bit pricey, but if you’re looking for a time-efficient, convenient, and mess-proof way to protect yourself from the sun this summer, then look no further, my friends. These sunscreen wipes are enriched with Vitamin E, B5 and aloe, and are very gentle and super-soothing on your skin.


Just spare yourself a trip to the ER à la Hannah Horvath and get yourself some Johnson’s Safety Swabs.

And you? Any baby products you know and love? Products from childhood you still swear by? Babysitting horror stories you’d like to share? Pray tell!