The Care I Put Into My I-Don't-Care Hair

How I make my hair look fabulous, in a fuzzed-out way. Like, if my hair were a guitar, this would be my hair hooked up to a distortion pedal.

The world of beauty is kind of hilariously silly when it comes to the concept of effortlessness.

I'm sure you've seen tutorials bandied about that promise a resulting "natural" look but require five or more products to achieve said effect. And hey, I'm totally a follower of that line of thinking; I can only ever possess "natural beauty" with the help of brow powder and strategically placed RMS Living Luminizer, OK?

And I'm pretty much the same when it comes to hair. One of my personal beauty icons is Mick Jagger, a man who, in his aesthetic heyday, I would not only like to be with, but who I would simply like to be. Full lips, those incredible cheekbones, the sleepy eyes and hello, that head of hair. Whether it's the shaggy little mop he had when the Stones first popped onto the scene, or the thick and inky luxurious style he possessed in Performance (with that smoky eye? Ooh baby), I want it all.

I'm sure Mick put some effort into looking so rock 'n' roll--I mean, no one just pops out of bed looking that perfectly disheveled, right? Right?! I mean, I don't. I've never woken up, looked in the mirror and thought, "that'll do, pig." Even when I wash my hair and let it air dry, it still needs a bit of product, and my bangs need straightening, at the very least.

I've got the styling down to a science, though, I think. People frequently ask me about my "hair secrets," and I wish I could reply with, "Ha ha, oh, you know, it just does that!" but, like, I don't want to lie, so I'll share. You can then steal my secrets and lie if you want. Pull a Beyoncé and be all, "I woke up like this." (That's a thing she says, right? I don't know. I sleep a lot.)

So, in terms of my haircut, I have random layers cut into it all over. I just cut them in myself, cutting vertically into small, random half-inch strands to create texture. I am not a hairstylist, so if you want to recreate the look, ask your hairdresser to cut long layers into your hair. No pieces too short, though, 'cause that can start to make things a bit poofy.

Then, my bangs are longish, halfway between growing out and still there; the strands are shorter in the space between my eyes, and then get longer as you move out towards the temples. Like face curtains! I straighten them, slightly turning the ends under so they don't look like weird twigs hanging down all frighteningly pointy, and then part in the middle, usually haphazardly. Because, you know, I don't "care."

Then comes the important part: the texture. I use a half-inch flat iron by Conair to flip the ends under and up ('60s vibes) and also to create small, loose curls throughout. I just wrap one-inch sections of my hair around the iron, starting around my ear, and hold for 5 to 10 seconds. I don't want perfect ringlets--just some shape.

Once the curls are cooled, I start in with my products. I take Bumble and bumble's Bb. Texture Hair (Un)dressing Creme, rub a bit between my fingers, and then wrap sections of my hair around them, letting the sticky styling cream do it's "undressing" thing.

At this point, we're getting close, but not messy enough. This is where I employ texturizing sprays. Yeah, plural.

I start by spritzing A Beautiful Life's Pre Game Texturizing Spray a few times near my roots, and then scrunching my fingers through my hair, moving up towards the scalp. The sea salt and coconut oil formula gives me volume and starts to really mess things up, giving me a nice gritty texture that belies the fact that my hair is squeaky-clean.

Finally, I grab Oribe's Dry Texturizing Spray, which smells like a sexy French woman and gives my hair just the right amount of fuzz (not frizz).

After all this (which really only takes about 10 minutes), my hair looks pretty fabulous, in a fuzzed-out way. Like, if my hair were a guitar, this would be my hair hooked up to a distortion pedal, y'know? Yeah, you know.

What beauty tactics do you employ to look like you didn't do anything at all? Which cosmetic surgeon would give the best Mick lip injections? And to those of you who want to comment and be all "I just wake up looking great," go away. Seriously. I don't want to hear from you. Go… model.