Yep, I'm Using Monistat 7 For Hair Growth 'Up There'

Damn, I have been looking into this method of hair growth since xoVain was just a wee bunch of cells developing in xoJane’s mainframe: Monistat 7, on your head. Or, to be more specific: miconazole nitrate, commonly used for athlete’s foot, yeast infections, and ringworm, usually below the belt.

Countless people, male and female, have been posting videos and discussing this method of getting up to one inch of hair growth per month. The use of the cream's anti-fungals is said to increase growth and decrease shedding.

There are two theories as to why this may work: one is that existing scalp flora will become regulated and not impede growth or encourage shedding. Another is that anti-fungals also have an anti-androgen function that inhibits sebum production and can potentially prevent excess shedding and thinning, and in a few cases reverse it.

I have been skeptical, but once you see the back of my hair, you will know why I am willing to try anything to make my hair grow faster. About four years ago I had bangs, a shaved portion from right temple to right ear, and a chin length bob on one side. As I have said before, my bangs grow crazy fast, and including trims, they have already made it to my collarbones (and been trimmed back to my chin). After four years of having a few locks on the left side, with a ton of fake hair added for thickness, I had to take everything out and make it symmetrical for the first time in ages, rendering it a long, ombre’d bob. (Real original, I know.)

Aside from my obsession with having "different" hair and needing extensions to feel glamorous, another problem is how shitty my hair is. The top grows fast and thick, while the nape is beaded, broken, and thin. Every single time I trim, I am faced with taking an inch off the back, which grows in thin. One might attribute this to coloring and extensions, but I only had tracks in the back once for three weeks in the past five years, and I only lighten (safely) twice per year.

Having to trim an inch every six weeks really hinders growth, which I suspect is around half an inch per month. New hairs are there, but they are shorter than the length, creating this disparity that needs to be cut off. I take pictures of the back of my hair every few months just to prove to myself that I am not crazy, the ish just doesn’t grow. So to test this anti-fungal theory, I left my straggly lengths in the back to see if the newer hairs could catch up if given a chance.

Here is the baseline: my hair is 6 to 8-ish inches in the back from the nape

I am only measuring one side in the front, since the other side will be playing host to my clip-ins for the next few months, and I don’t want that to taint the results. If it is causing damage, I will find out the hard way. The front is 9 inches from my tragus--that spot on your ear where sideburns usually end.

For the next five or so weeks, I will be taking a squirt of generic miconazole nitrate cream and mixing it with two ounces of water and applying it to my roots every three days. I'm going to keep a hair diary, to encourage taking my vitamins, daily preening, and scalp massage, as well as when to perform the treatment and when to wash. I’m not very good at keeping diaries, but I will be snapping weekly pics for the extra proof with my ruler shirt.

Let's see if this helps me finally get the hair of my dreams: nipple curtains!

Have any of you done this? Any tips/tricks/cautions? Has anyone seen similar results from products with pyrithione zinc or ketoconazole?

Photos by Darnell Scott