These Two Brilliant Products Are Saving My Lazy Ass From A Life Of Boring Hair

I usually have to Velcro-roll, blow dry, and iron-curl all over to achieve what this baby does from simply tying it on your head and letting it sit there.

My hair, au naturel, is about as exciting as waiting in line at the DMV. It’s long and stringy and sort of just hangs there like sad, dusty curtains. I spend more time than I’m willing to admit googling photos of Emma Watson and wondering, If I get her pixie cut, will I turn into her, too?

What holds me back from cutting it all off, though (other than memories of growing out my last breakup-induced 12-inch chop), is the one day a month that I bust out all my curly-blowy-spray tools and transform my lifeless hair into something sexy and scandalous. Call me what you will, but I’m a middle child who enjoys the attention my hair gets when I actually try.

But those days are few and far between, because it’s time consuming, and sleeping an extra 30 minutes takes priority over hairstyling in my 9-to-5 life. Hence, the selfies on my Instagram do not reflect the top-knot that frequents my head most days.

So when I discovered these two products that turned my boring hair into total fabulousness without compromising sleep or adding effort, I was utterly ecstatic. Without further ado, let me share my secrets:

FOR BODY AND CURL: SoCalCurls Hair Curling Tie ($18.99)

Where have these been all my life? I usually have to Velcro-roll, blow dry, and iron-curl all over to achieve what this baby does from simply tying it on your head and letting it sit there. You pop the curling tie in the microwave for 30 seconds, tie it around your head and then wrap your hair around it in one-inch sections.

My favorite thing about the SoCalCurls curling tie is that you can multitask while your curls set (I leave mine in for about 20 minutes). Then you just untie it and gently wiggle it out of your hair. It does all the work for you. I should probably say that I use all that extra time in the morning to write the next great American novel, but truth be told, I am likely eating Froot Loops and catching up on Words With Friends. I’m a simpler woman than I think I am.

But what I love-love is that this method of adding body and curl isn’t damaging. I avoid heat styling because I’m lazy, yes, but also because it’s hard to keep long hair healthy. This warm little beanbag doesn’t hurt my totally natural (cough ahem cough) blonde hair.

FOR KEEPING THAT BODY AND CURL: Sally Hershberger Major Body 3-in-1 Volumnizing Spray ($12.99)

You weren’t there to see it, but I had to step away from writing this to go get married to this hairspray really quick. I know we just met, and it seems like we rushed into things, but it’s no big deal, true love cannot be compromised.

This hairspray can be used for: building volume, as a dry shampoo, or as a finishing spray. And it DELIVERS. It’s infused with caffeine, so it perks up hair just like that first coffee of the day. I love (need) me some caffeine, so it only makes sense that my hair would, too.

After my hair was set from the SoCalCurls Curling Tie, I used the Sally spray all over. The result was about 25 more selfies than I usually take on a day where I’m feeling good, because my hair looked freaking awesome.

This spray is great because the three components (volume, dry shampoo, hold) work together to make your hair full of body and totally weightless. It usually takes one flight of stairs for my hair to go from gorgeous to greasy, and normal hairsprays usually only make it worse. But not Sally’s Major Body 3-in-1. Everything stays fluffy and clean and my style holds. This stuff gets me. (It’s why we’re spending our lives together.)

Now all I need is a mistress -- in the form of this hairspray in a portable-sized bottle -- and I’ll be golden.

I’m loving my new discoveries. Do you have corpse-like hair, too? What do you use to breathe life into it?