It's gonna get sappy up in here.
There was a time in my life where I wore a full face of make-up everyday. Then I stopped taking so much Adderall and started to actually value sleep. I'm at the point where I can get away with just some BB Cream and lipstain without looking like a mutant. The only obstacle between me and leaving the house in less than an hour was my stupid blonde eyelashes.
When I looked at the women the tabloids considered naturally beautiful i wondered "what do they have that I don't have?" I realized it was naturally dark lashes. And okay, high cheekbones, astounding facial symmetry, and perfectly upturned noses. Those are a lost cause, but I've managed to totally cheat on the eyelashes.
Tinting your lashes about once a month gives you the freedom to go mascara-less as often as you'd like while still having defined eyes. It may sound intimidating at first, but once you get the steps down it's just another part of your routine.
Select the dye colour that is most compatible with your hair colour. Black works for black or very dark brown hair. Redheads should go with auburn. Blondes should choose dark blonde or light brown. Lighter shades of brown should stick with light browns.
You will need: Henna or Vegetable Dye, a small container (you can use the cap from a soft drink), a clean mascara wand, Vaseline, eyelash curler, and paper towels.
Obligatory Disclaimer:This dye should be non toxic and natural and stuff, but if it happens to get in your eyes or somehow fucks your shit up I'm not responsible for it because... I'm not. And besides if you think suing a freelance writer is going to be a lucrative thing you're just silly. Attempt at your own risk. Really though, I've been doing this for years and its totally fine.
Step 1: Mix colour and deposit into cap.
Step 2:Curl lashes so that you can deposit the color smoothly and evenly. This will also make it harder for the dye to get in your eyes.
Step 3:Spread a thin layer of Vaseline under your your bottom lashline and all over your eyelids. This prevents you from staining your skin.
Step 4:Dip your mascara wand lightly into the color, twirling it for even distribution.
Step 5:Apply to upper and lower lashes as you would regular mascara. Be sure to get the very tips of your lashes as they tend to be the lightest. You can also stick some dye on your eyebrows as well so they will match. Leave on for 3-5 minutes.
Step 6:Cut the paper towel into 4 even strips.
Step 7:Place a paper towel strip under the lower lashes. It should stick to the Vaseline and stay on your face.
Take another paper towel strip, wet it, and wring it out. Place it above your bottom lashes and brush down on to the other paper towel strip. Then fold the bottom strip in half over the lashes and slowly drag it off your face. Your bottom lashes should be clean.
Step 8:Place a paper towel strip on top of your bottom lashes and close your eye. Take another damp paper towel strip and brush down your top lashes. Then fold the bottom strip in half and drag across until your top lashes are clean.
Step 9:Wash remaining Vaseline off your face and admire your newly dyed lashes!
Your eyelashes should look instantly longer and thicker after dying, no make-up required! You'll be ready for the paparazzi any time. Even though you're not famous. Or rich. Actually you'll probably just be ready for potential Facebook photos any time. Which is still pretty good because untagging is a bitch, am I right?
Kristine Rose takes beauty tutorial requests on Twitter @prtoftheprob