It's gonna get sappy up in here.
Antibiotics have left my lips looking like shriveled shitake mushrooms, so parched that keeping them smooth means lubing up roughly every 15 minutes. Since reaching for balm that frequently is unrealistic, not to mention antisocial, I do this complusive LL Cool J-esque lip licking move instead, but saliva just makes the flakes worse. Gross.
Afrobella founder Patrice, who has smooth everything and a solution for what feels like all beauty problems (without being overbearing) put me on to this exfoliating scrub made from common food staples and only two ingredients -- brown sugar and olive oil. Go next level and add dry oats if you want, but it's not necessary.
With some extra time on my hands during my layover in Chicago, I decided to to mix up the lip formula using ingredients exclusively sourced at an O'Hare Airport food court. And by sourced I mean grifted. If you think I paid for a damn thing you are sorely mistaken. Sugar packets are free in this world and so is olive oil if you play your cards right, which isn't hard in the Midwest.
Case in point, I was congratulated in line at Starbucks by a fellow customer for choosing crudite -- a "healthy" snack -- and finishing it before I paid.
Back to scaly lips.
I mixed up my lip scrub in a paper coffee cup using two packets of brown sugar and about 1.5 teaspoons of olive oil. Patrice says coconut oil works too, but that wasn't on hand at O'Hare obviously.
O'Hare Lip Scrub
Next I applied a glob of the desserty blend to my mouth using a plastic fork and massaged it in with my fingertips to the point of boredom. Ideally you would wipe off lips using a warm washcloth, but rinsed my mouth with warm water instead. You could also go full hunter-gatherer and eat the scrub, so as not to let your ingredients go to waste.
Public Bathroom Lips
The O'Hare Lip Scrub left my mouth feeling flake-free and extra soft for my connector flight to LaGuardia. And everyone knows airplanes are the Atacama Desert of transportation.