Did I Tell You About The Day That Began With Snipping Foreskins And Ended With Wearing Placenta? Yeah.

The other day I followed up celebrating the bris of a friend's baby with trying out something called a DNA Facial, made with -- yep -- stem cells from cow placenta.
Publish date:
January 19, 2014

Aging gracefully is probably something of a misnomer. Maybe it’s just me who lacks said grace, but I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t get filled with excitement and anticipation as my birthday approaches. I’m just filled with dread. Dread at getting older. Of feeling older. Of not really being sure where I am in my life and relationships and career and at the same time, feeling like I maybe possibly am starting to look it.

Before you think I’m getting existential on you, I think it’s something about the cycle of life. Birth (and getting closer to death?! Ha!) and all that. The other day I followed up celebrating the Bris of the new baby of one of my dearest friends (he’s crazy adorable -- hence the snipping foreskins, duh), by visiting White Tea Med Spa in New York City to try their DNA Facial.

This facial has been dubbed something of a “natural face lift,” and I was intrigued. I won’t lie: I’ve been considering Botox. Maybe it’s stress, maybe it’s the war against the clock, but overnight I see crow’s feet and lines that weren’t there before.

If going for an afternoon facial could make a difference, how could I not give it a try?

Parts of the facial are rather traditional; your skin is cleansed with DNA cleansers according to your skin type, and then exfoliated, followed by microdermabrasion.

Next, I received a lactic acid peel followed by a scrub and then Strawberry Rhubarb masque on top of light peel ... and this is where it started to go in a whole different direction.

I experienced my first micro-current session, which is intense, but awesome. Micro-current works by targeting the muscles under the skin; these are the muscles that cause our skin to wrinkle and sag. (You could say, I suppose, that my skin was getting a workout.) It seems that as we get older our muscles are trained to be in certain expressions and tend to kind of get stuck in these positions. That’s why some of our friends appear to have a perpetual brow furrow!

Of course that also means the muscles –- like in other parts of our body –- we never use atrophy and sag. And the last thing I want is sagging chin or jawline now. I’m not that old.

The micro-current is supposed to stimulate collagen and improve tone and texture, and helps eliminate fine lines. Meaning maybe I don’t have to mess with Botox and fillers? A facial seems a lot less invasive, no?

But things were about to go to a whole new level. Next Maria applied DNA CryoStem Cells to my face and neck.

Yes, these are stem cells that come from cow placentas. But not just any cows. Organic cows that were raised listening to like Mozart in the French Alps. (And, no. No cows were harmed in any way making said CryoStem.) I know it sounded rather vampire-meets-sci-fi movie, but whatever. Yes, the thoughts of putting bovine stem cells on your face is moderately icky, but the treatment is super-relaxing and it feels rather nice once you get used to it.

The idea is that since the serum is made of embryonic fluid, which is super-rich in nutrients, when applied to the face it will prompt cell renewal. Our old, tired cells will see young new vital cells and want to be just like them. And I’m into that.

Apparently, they recommend you go for a bundle of these facials to “retrain” your skin, but mine already felt renewed and brighter. So much so that I went to dinner that night without makeup.

It’s something, at least. I’m still not done pondering what’s next though. So, yeah, foreskins and placentas -– it’s some sort of life cycle, or something.

What’s the wackiest thing you’ve ever done to try to turn around the clock?