It's gonna get sappy up in here.
As the resident MacGyver of Beauty (I will find a way to pinch every ounce of use out of anything), I am one of those people who will try to get every single ounce of wear out of everything I own.
Sticks of deodorant are like my miracle cure for any ailment, particularly my new favorite: Secret Clinical Strength Stress Response. Because there’s a difference between regular movement-and-heat-induced sweat and the bacteria that are released when you’re freaking out like Dominique Dunne in Poltergeist (the famous “What’s happening?!?!” scream when she comes home and finds her house imploding on her family).
I mean, if you COULD use a stick of odor-stopping magic to help out with life, WHY NOT? People full on laugh at me until they try these remedies and then they’re like, “Oh SNAP, Booker! Thanks you for bringing world peace with that awesome beauty tip.”
Well, not really, but they usually thank me for these unorthodox-yet-effective uses for the stuff. So, without further ado, here are some strange-but-freaking-awesome uses for deodorant:
1. Got a pair of shoes that are rubbing the shit out of your feet? Swipe your favorite deodorant (clear deodorant if they’re fancy leather or low-cut/open-toe) around the sides (remember: the SIDES) of your foot and just slide that foot back in. The deodorant acts as a slick barrier between your skin and the shoe and will keep the shoe from taking your flesh right off.
2. Everyone knows this one already (or maybe you don’t), but applying deodorant to the bottoms of dry feet the night before will help fight off foot odor and wetness during the day. Just do it the night before, because applying deodorant right before putting on a pair of shoes is like a "Saturday Night Live" skit waiting to happen.
3. If you have larger breasts, sweat pooling underneath is a recipe for skin tags and bacteria funk. Swipe a good deodorant/antiperspirant under there, then slip on a bra. It’ll stop chafing and keep things awesome smelling and feeling under there. Otherwise, it turns into a Breast Swamp and who wants that to happen?
4. I have hair that kinks up at the very thought of moisture, particularly when it’s all summertime out and I’m starting to sweat. (I sweat all the way around my head like a beast for some reason.) A thin layer of clear deodorant around my hairline and down my neck while I’m dry has saved many a hairstyle. See also: It can help keep your hair from sticking to your neck in bed.
5. Deodorant swiped down the legs will literally grease you right into a pair of skinny jeans or anything pleather-related, and will keep said pants from sticking to you while you move about your business.
6. I have been known to cure a squeaky door hinge with solid antiperspirant/deodorant. You laugh, but shit don’t squeak anymore and I’m not ready to rip the door off the hinges in a fit of PMS-inspired rage.
7. Dermatologists will KILL me for this recommendation, but let’s say you have a zit that is making you crazy. Throw some deodorant on that sucker and it will go away swiftly (it does draw out moisture, after all). This also works for blisters on your feet.
8. You can slather deodorant on insect bites and the itching will stop. I’d like to thank the Eagle Scout I hooked up with years ago who taught me that. They do come prepared, I’m happy to report.
I’m sure there are more uses for these beloved Wonder Sticks of Non-Smelly Goodness that I haven’t thought of, so let’s dish in the comments section. Do you have alternative uses for deodorant that you want to share? Do you ever multitask or MacGyver your beauty products? Let’s get all funky and discuss.