I Just Had The Roughest Massage Ever -- And I Loved Every Second

I’ve never had my butt and inner thighs rubbed so much and so intensely by anyone who didn't buy me a drink first.
Publish date:
November 21, 2013
massage, body treatments

How do you like it? I know some like it sweet and soft, soothing and relaxed. Me, I’m more of an intense girl. Deep and strong and thorough.

The type where it hurts –- so good –- and you are kind of sore in some places the next day?

I’m speaking of massages, especially the amazing deep tissue one I got this past weekend at Salamander Resort in Middleburg, VA.

I'm only closing in on my mid-thirties, but I spend a lot of time whining about aches and pains. I may as well be 85. I carry my computer around endlessly, and often spend my day trudging from appointment to appointment carrying bags. My back pretty much always hurts, as I schlep and whine. It’s all I prattle on about.

Salamander has a few equestrian experiences at their resort, so the massage I booked, the Riders Relief, was created with them in mind – it focuses on relieving muscle tension in affected areas. It’s a deep tissue massage, but since it focuses on “affected” areas for the purported designee, my dude got way in there. I’ve never had my butt and inner thighs rubbed so much and so intensely by anyone who didn't buy me a drink first.

It was absolute heaven.

I’ve had many massages in my life –- they are right under blow outs in my self-indulgence category –- but this is the first time I’ve had a massage like this. For me, it’s usually been like when I order my Thai extra spicy, they say it’s going to be super strong but nope. I then just lay there and feel whispers.

A really good massage – a deep tissue or sports injury – is not necessarily supposed to feel hearts and roses kind of pleasant. It’s supposed to work some shit out.

“What are you-oh yesssss -what in the world are you doing ?” I asked. I sort of wondered what the front desk people may be used to hearing at this joint.

“I’m working on your fascia and pinpointing some trigger points,” he said, “which are located pretty deep down in there. Feel that?”

“Yesss….you go and penetrate those points. You do that.”

What you feel during a deep tissue massage is a manifestation of the pleasure-pain principal –- pressure and pain, yes, but extreme relief. “Trigger points” are essentially little masses of contracted muscle, gripping onto tension either because of excessive use or because of sitting. Humans really aren’t meant to sit as much as we do and yet for most of us, it’s all we do. Every day.

My masseuse encouraged me to share if the discomfort or pain got to be too much. But I never did. I liked it. I didn’t want him to stop, ever.

Afterward, I was curiously languid all day, a sort of post-massage sleepy malaise. After this type of massage, your kidneys are supposed to be hard at work processing the toxins that the massage released. You are meant to drink lots of water.

I, instead, had a glass of wine and basked in the afterglow. And wondered what he may be doing right then. If he was thinking of me. And…if I will ever see him again.

Do you like a little pain with your pleasure on the massage table like me?