5 Orgasm-Inducing Shower Gels (And A Free Soundtrack To Go With It)

I’m a shower-wall beater (and possibly other things) when the stuff is good, I fully admit that.

Aug 16, 2012 at 6:00pm | Leave a comment

Peeps, I have to say it: I’m a woman who loves a little alone time every day. Because with what feels like 6,000 emails and a ton of work each day, sometimes I need a little private time where I can shut the lights off, turn the water on, kick up the jams and block out the outside world.

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I am also a concert shower singer. I turn the music up and scare the shit out of my neighbors by singing my heart out when I’m not reacting to the O-inducing scents from my vast collection of shower gels. I find the acoustics of the shower make my water buffalo warbling somewhat tolerable even to me (although my neighbors might not agree.) After a long day, I’m inclined to hit the shower, turn off the lights and let the good times roll by sniffing, sudsing and singing my cares away.

Oh, and shower gels have to pass the olfactory test with me: If I love it enough that it makes me wanna get dirty again because I feel so smooth and luscious out of the shower, it moves in permanently. I’m a shower wall beater (and possibly other things) when the stuff is good, I fully admit that.

So, sit back, relax, and let’s insert the porn bow-chicka-bow-wow music here: I’m about to open the shower curtain and let you in on my favorite cheap thrill shower gel addiction and the songs that usually accompany them.(I do have a Spotify shower mix -- don’t judge it until you’ve tried it.)

These are in no particular order, and NONE costs more than $10:

Caress Passionate Spell Passion Fruit & Fiery Orange Rose Body Wash

I’m a lover of sexy fall fragrances (earthy, spicy, woodsy) and this shower gel delivers all of these in a romantic fragrance. The passion fruit scent is juicy, the Orange Rose is exotic and inviting and the softening ingredients are mind-blowing. My mom used to rock Yves Saint Laurent fragrances back in the 70s and this sort of reminds me of that sexy, earthy vibe from the disco days. Hence, I pair it with Cheryl Lynn’s “Got to Be Real.”

St. Ives Triple Butters Creamy Vanilla Intensely Hydrating Body Wash

We all love a little vanilla now and then, especially when it’s paired with some triple butter action that soothes and hydrates the driest skin. As someone who suffers from insanely dry, itchy, scratchy skin, this hypo-allergenic, paraben-free product is the newest addition to my shower roster. It gets old school Coldplay, “Spies.”

Vitabath Cucumber and White Tea Body Wash

Kind of like sex at a spa (I dated a masseuse a long time ago, highly overrated, trust me), this clean fragrance and soothing formula is perfect after a madness-inducing day. Also sulfate- and paraben-free, the white tea helps purify the pollution and drama that your skin takes in, and cucumber extract that is oh-so-soothing. I tend to roll with Zero 7, “Destiny,” with this one.

Neutrogena Body Clear Pink Grapefruit Body Wash

A gold standard and a take on the face wash that gets many through random (or frequent) breakouts, it’s a wake-up nose slap in a morning shower. The salicylic acid in this product gets rid of body acne by attacking the bacteria at the source. I try to keep the noise to a minimum at the gym, but in my head I’m jamming out to Gotye, “Heart’s A Mess.” (I have to put a stop to “Somebody That I Used to Know.” That song, while wonderful at first, has become insidious.)

LUSH Cosmetics Slammer Shower Gel

The most expensive in the bunch at a whopping $9.95 for the small size, it is WORTH THE MONEY. It’s packed with lime (juice, peel and oil) for a citrus-y jolt of HELLO GORGEOUS, which works either before coffee or instead of if you have to make a break for it. It also contains seawater and honey to soften and soften skin. I wind up going a bit mellow guitar to keep the crankiness at bay with Phillip Phillips, “Home.”

Suds up, buttercups! Which cheap thrill shower gels have a good effect on your body and disposition and have you howling for more? Let’s get all dirty (and then clean) in the comments below.