It's gonna get sappy up in here.
When Salma Hayek launched Nuance, Eva Mendes debuted CIRCA Beauty, and Drew Barrymore jumped in the game with FLOWER they changed the way we shop at drug stores. By making their personal Hollywood glamour looks attainable at Main Street prices, they ushered in a trend of beauty referred to as masstige — prestige quality at prices the masses can afford. (Ooooh, you just learned a portmanteau!)
Pull out your eyeliner pencil to jot some notes down in your blotting papers because it’s time for a little history lesson. The term debuted in 2003 in a marketing book called Trading Up and applied to cars, shoes, and grocery items like juice and pet food (no I don’t eat pet food...I’m saying you can get it at the grocery store. Okay, I’ll admit it, times can get tough when you’re in the creative industry). The term really got going in the beauty world a decade later with the introduction of high-quality ingredients like keratin and moroccan oil in affordable shampoo.
Now every big chain drug store features a prominent beauty section chock-full of masstige items. With Salma’s, Eva’s and Drew’s success of putting their gorgeous faces on some gorgeously-packaged products, more celebs are sure to follow. So who’s next? Here are my picks.
So who’s next? Here are my picks.
Taylor Swift needs her own line of red lipsticks, stat!
From brick to merlot, I’ll take every hue under the sun please, and if you package it in boxes featuring the faces of the hotties in her videos, I’ll even buy the shades of red I can’t tell apart.
She could also have a ton of fun naming them, like referencing her songs (Bad Blood-Red anyone?), or if she needs an endless supply of names, she can just draw from her well of celebrity friends.
I want a Lena, a Gigi, and — the limited time only — Katy Perry. Until Swift's lipstick line hits the shelves — fingers crossed — I'll be wearing Revlon Ultra HD Matte Lip Color in HD Love.
I would totally jump on a line of Ariana Grande false babydoll eyelashes. You may be thinking, “What about a clip-on ponytail?” to which I reply, we are not a fifty-something novelty shop owner in the artsy part of a sleepy town.
Leave the faux-di-locks for your I Dream of Genie Halloween costume, but keep the extensions for your eyes.
Nothing says I am a delicate, fairy princess that lives in a sugar castle like some long, dark, face feathers you can wave at your loyal subjects by blinking. When you bat your Grandes you’re batting a thousand. Dang, Ariana I just wrote your slogan. Do it!
Speaking of eyeball royalty, I want the keys to Adele’s eyeliner queendom.
Just like with Swift, she could name different formulas after her songs, but instead of puns, they’ll be mysterious and poetic like bottles of perfume. "Hello" is the liner for when you want a super dramatic look. It will also come with a free flip-phone (a nod to the video, and also technology that pretty much has to be given away at this point).
Of course, they’re all waterproof, because if you’re listening to her music while you make yourself up you’re going to need something to last through the tears.
I don’t want to put too many of these brilliant ideas out into the universe for fear that they will take off, and then all these celebrities will be legally obligated to owe me money. Then it’s just parties and private jets and Illuminati meetings, and I have enough on my plate.
I’ll just rattle a few more off without going into too much detail — Rihanna’s color contacts (close your eyes and test your Rude Boy on his memory), Angelina Jolie foundation (she’s always starting foundations, why not one more?), Yonce’s lip gloss (WATERMELON), and Alessia Kara’s makeup remover wipes (when you just want to go home and end the charade).
Okay, I’ve started the petition. Add your support by telling me in the comments who else should join the beauty bandwagon.