Cake Beauty: Eat the Damn Cake, And Wear It, Too

The best beauty products that smell like delicious cake!

Dec 29, 2011 at 2:00pm | Leave a comment

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When it comes to the business of being this particular shape that I have, in my silly human-ness, become attached to, cake is my Kryptonite.

Cake, cupcakes, and donuts (also cake). I love the shit out if cake. It's the perfect addictive mix of sugar, fat and carbs. Plus, cake, by its very presence, marks a time of celebration. Weight Watchers be damned, I will always say yes to cake. (Those closest to me will remember a dark period when my boyfriend began bringing home ice cream cakes on the regular for no particular occasion.)

In fact, I love cake so much that I worry a little that I may have manufactured this whole idea of a "Cake Beauty" story solely to have a reason to send an intern trotting down to the local Food Emporium to buy a cake which we would photograph, and then, surely, EAT.

But, no, because I am a grown woman who needs no excuse to buy a cake, and also because I truly, truly love the smell of cake and cake-like items.

It started with Hella Good's Birthday Cake Frosting Body Wash. That stuff smelled so much like cake that I'd lick it a little when nobody was looking, like a dumb kid with paste. Since that product (and beauty line) is no more, I enlisted Julie in the search for America's Next Top Cake-Scented Product.

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In the making of this story, cake was harmed a little, folks. We put beauty products on top of it, crushing it and removing patches of icing. Eventually, we ripped parts of it up with our hands for the above shot. By the end of this thing, the cake was looking a bit mangled. But you know what? It tasted just fine.

Products! So, obviously, Philosophy is sort of the boss when it comes to making food-scented products, and the first place I turned was their "Vanilla Birthday Cake" shampoo, shower gel, and bubble bath, which, while quite satisfying, cannot compare to the delight of Coconut Frosting.

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I apply the body butter periodically throughout the day. Between me and the coconut-and-vanilla cloud through which Cat Marnell travels perpetually, I think officemate Eric sometimes wants to throw up a little. Actually, this whole cave-like room in which the three of us work together is so full of hair and body products, perfume and make-up, that a distinct sweetness can be dected in the air upon entering. It's a little gross.

There's also a late contender in the Marshmallows for Toasting body lotion, which I slathered on in Sephora on the way to work this morning.

I also recently discovered this drug store brand, "I love... vanilla and ice cream" for like $5.99.

And of course, no discussion of cake-y beauty products would be complete without a cameo from Cake Beauty. Cake's right there in the name, people.

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Sometimes, surrounded by sophisticated people like Cat and Eric and Jane, who have all clocked time within the Conde Nast building, I feel like a little like the simple caveman lawyer of fashion and beauty. Really, I don't know of what I speak!

And I'm clearly not sophisticated -- I have the scent aesthetic of a 5-year-old girl wearing a tiara. But I know what I like! Sweet, sugary, delicious scents that make me kind of want to lick myself. I won't be offended if this kind of grosses you out. I am but a simple caveman beauty writer after all...

BUT if you LIKE to smell like dessert, you will like the "It's a slice" Velveteen Hand creme, which is blended with shea butter, whole milk & marshmallow extract and scents of orange and vanilla cream. Also notable: the Desserted Island Supreme Body Mousse (coconut and vanilla) and the Hi-light Luminous Body Lotion, which smells like sugared citrus and highlights your skin with a pinky glow.

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I'm also super-into Bed Head's new Candy Fixations line, which is basically a triumph of packaging, especially the Whipped Marshmallow hair texturizer.  Also available: Sugar Shock Hair Bodifying Sugar Spray, Glaze Haze Semi-Sweet Smoothing Hair Serum, and Totally Baked Volumizing and Prepping Hair Meringue. They all smell totally edible, and do what they're supposed to do, if that's important to you. Again, I am not a beauty writer -- I don't know all those adjectives you're supposed to use to describe scents and stuff.

But I think Demeter comes closest to prototypical cake smell with "Vanilla Cake Batter," which smells exactly like that white-frostinged grocery store cake I see in my mind's eye when someone says "cake." That's Vanilla Cake Batter. Do not, I repeat, do NOT make the mistake of buying "Birthday Cake." I love Demeter so much, and they have so many awesome scents, but Birthday Cake smells like asshole.

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If you don't like to wear your dessert, the Frosted Cupcake candle from Bath and Body Works is also quite nice.

Anyway, CAKE! How much do you love it? Do you find smelling like food products disgusting or delightful? Do you know of an even better dessert-scented product?