It's gonna get sappy up in here.
LET’S TALK ABOUT BODY HAIR. Ugh, I know that’s a gross sentence. Stay with me.
How do we feel about body hair? On ourselves? On our men? Or our women? Do we like it au naturel? Shaved? Trimmed? Sculpted? WAXED? If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years, it’s that people are total FREAKS about it, both on themselves and on others. Some love it, some hate it.
So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a guy. With the exception of my legs, which make me look like a Sasquatch, I’m not very hairy. However, I do have a pretty dense patch of hair right in the middle of my chest. It’s not exactly my favorite feature because it’s in this severe, upside-down triangle shape, with the rest of my chest being pretty bare. I think a guy looks much better with evenly dispersed chest hair, but that’s not what the good lord gave me. I’ve done everything to try to tame it or remove it, though I finally just had to embrace it. But it’s 2012, I’ve got options! And so do you.
I’ve been on my hair removal grind ever since high school, and I’ve never found a product that really satisfies in terms of getting rid of the chest hair. As a V-neck connoisseur, if I’m baring some chest, I need it to look good. The problem with all of the creams I’ve tried is that they take away the hair, but leave the root of the hair in the follicle, making it look like I have a ton of blackheads on my chest. NO.
And shaving the chest is just as bad because my skin always gets irritated afterward. By the time the irritation clears up, the hair is already growing back. It's a vicious cycle. What’s the point of shaving your chest if you can’t show it off? That’s like shaving your legs and not being able to wear a skirt! Feel me?
This summer was my first experience getting waxed. I was curious to see if it would finally free me from the clutches of my own chest hair. Thanks to my high pain tolerance and a couple of painkillers beforehand, it was a total breeze! But it put a sizeable dent in my wallet. I didn’t want to pay damn near $50 every couple of weeks to have a stranger tear the hair out of my own body. No, ma’am. So I gave up and decided that I’d just have to embrace it.
UNTIL NOW. A couple of weeks ago, I discovered BodyHonee Hair Removal Wax for men and women.
This at-home hair removal system is all-natural, made from only three ingredients: lemon, salt and sugar. Since the product is all natural, it does not irritate the skin and is water-soluble, making for quick and easy clean up. The BodyHonee kit comes with the jar of wax, 10 large waxing strips and wooden sticks to apply the wax. BodyHonee is good for any place on your body that you don’t want hair: your legs, your arms, your chest and anywhere ELSE you’d like to be hairless, haaay.
I got the chance to talk to the owner of the company and I grilled her about the product’s unisex stance. I was curious to know had the product been formulated specifically for women and men, or was it just a marketing ploy?
She told me that the thing that separates BodyHonee from other products is that most kits come with only 5 ounces of wax, which is typically not enough to work with and effectively remove all unwanted hair, especially for a man. BodyHonee boasts 9 ounces, so both women and the hairiest of men can get rid of any hair they don’t want just hanging around. Furthermore, even without the use of any synthetic ingredients, the wax is strong enough to get rid of even the toughest hair, since men’s hairy is typically more stubborn to remove.
It had been a while since I had tried any sort of hair removal product and I had certainly never waxed myself before, so I was sort of expecting the whole process to be a painful, messy disaster, like most of my relationships. I also had little faith in the claim that the all-natural wax would be strong enough to remove all of the hair I wanted to get rid of.
I know y’all are all about seeing the “before and after” in every tutorial here on xoJane, as you should be. Show those receipts! I wanted to make sure I really gave you guys a clear idea of just how this product worked. So, I recorded a video of myself waxing my chest.
PAUSE. I realized after editing the video that between shooting it with my webcam and doing it in my kitchen that has shitty lighting, you can’t really clearly SEE the hair that I’m waxing off (you get a better idea after I actually start), but trust me, it was there. For reference, I went back in my archives to find a photo of my bare chest. YOU ARE ALL VERY WELCOME.
So there you have it. Let me clarify one thing right quick. Though it may seem like I was in major pain in the video, it really didn’t hurt that badly at all. The first one or two times I yanked the waxed strips off were a little jarring, but after that, it was a cakewalk. It’s not even the pain that’s the worst part -- it’s the fact that you’re doing it to yourself.
After I microwaved the wax for 30 seconds, I was a little apprehensive because I felt that the consistency was too thin to effectively yank out all of the hair. I tried to be patient and let it cool for a bit, but the suspense got the best of me. I had to get it over with. I slapped some wax on the middle of my chest where the hair is most dense, pressed a waxing strip over it, rubbed it firmly onto my skin and yanked.
I looked down and BLAW! A perfect rectangle of totally bare skin where I had just ripped the strip away from. I couldn’t believe it! The quick shot of pain coupled with the excitement of discovering that this product actually worked sent my adrenaline into overdrive and turned me into a waxing MACHINE! I was fearless!
Important to remember when you’re waxing: always keep your hand as close to the skin as possible when you’re tearing the strip off, instead of yanking it away from the body. Doing this will significantly cut down on pain. Also, pull in the opposite direction of your hair growth. I know that last one is obvious, but it’s easy to forget amidst your waxing fervor. Pulling in the same direction your hair grows will pull the hair hard, without actually pulling it out, which will hurt and snap you out of your waxing haze REAL quick, believe me.
Another great thing about BodyHonee is that because it’s all-natural, it’s 100% water-soluble, which makes it easy to clean, unlike some other synthetic products. I was very thankful for this when I was cleaning it off of my counter, my kitchen floor, and my phone. I got it everywhere, I swear to god. It’s not even hard to get off of any surface, just hit it with a warm washcloth and boom, you’re good.
And I didn’t stop with just my chest. I did that weird little bit of hair that every dude has below their bellybutton, and then a little below that, too (eek). I couldn’t be stopped! By the time you read this, I’ll probably be totally hairless. Like a slinky little bald cat.
The BodyHonee kit is only $12.99, which is stupid cheap considering the kind of results you get. The place that I used to get waxed was $40, which I feel is exorbitant (coming from the guy who spent that on nail polish). And I only used about a third of the jar, so I can get multiple uses out of the same kit! I’ll never have unwanted hair again, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Too bad it’s November and I can’t scamper around town half-naked like I did all summer. I could though.
SO. Have I made you a believer? Did that video leave you irrevocably damaged? What do you do to get rid of unwanted body hair? I KNOW you all have little tips and tricks, so spill them in the comments! How do you feel about body hair on your perspective love interests? I have so many questions.
Tynan is livetweeting while he waxes literally everything else at @TynanBuck.