It's gonna get sappy up in here.
There was a time when I thought foundation was all the base I needed for a good evening look. Can you imagine? Poor pan-faced me, swanning around Warwick Uni campus inch-thick in foundation from a stick. Yes, it covered my still-not-under-control-today hormonal acne, but it also made me look like a shop mannequin. And we all know shop mannequins are bloody terrifying.
The right blusher will take you from looking good to looking damn hot. From ‘woke up with your contacts in’ to ‘woke up in a Moroccan day spa’. It makes a difference. All the difference.
The key to getting blusher right is to totally ignore the colour in the palette and try it out in the shop. Most of my suggestions look truly vile to the untrained eye, but as George Michael, fan of a bit of blush, said, you've gotta have faith. Even if it means having a quick shufty for the Boots security guards before ripping through the cellophane on drugstore brands too tight to provide a tester. Oh everyone does it.
The test is especially important as blushers differ GREATLY in pigment, depending on how much you’re willing to drop, so buff it on your face in circular motions and find some natural light to see how hot you look. And be brave, you will get compliments.
Lancôme Paris Color Design Blush Chic in Cassis
Compliment you will get: Offers of sexYou know when people tell you that, yeah, something’s expensive, but a little goes a long way and it will last you forever so just buy it you TIGHT-ARSE!? Well, often that’s bullcrap.
But I would not lie to you good women. We hear enough lies, like: ‘Scarlett Johansson just walks her dog to lose weight’ or ‘visibly clearer skin in three days!’
I first bought this blusher TEN YEARS AGO and it’s STILL GOING! Ok, so it might now contain some fluff, tobacco and the fungal cure to the common cold, but it also makes me look wonderfully shimmery flushed. I've also lent this to non-white friends, so I know fo sho that the ruby red tones look beautiful on dark skin, for all my women of colour.
The sad news is that I think this may have been discontinued (nice start Tor) but you can still find it on eBay HERE so go go go!
Bobby Brown Blush in Peony – £18, bobbibrown.co.uk
Compliment you will get: Have you had work done?When the make-up artist first tried this out on me she actually said: “Don’t look at it before it’s on your face, you’ll think I’ve gone mad.”
This looks crazy bright pink, and it is, but on skin, especially if you're a bit paler, swirled around the apples of your cheeks, it gives you a youthful 'Elle Fanning' flush of cheeky colour that takes years off.
You can even get it in a Breast Cancer special packaging, if that's your bag, – sorry SE – so that at least alleviates the guilt of this pricier option.
Topshop Blush in Head over Heels – £6, topshop.com
Compliment you will get: Have you been on holiday?
Now, the product image is a bit misleading here because this coral fella is actually even brighter and a bit pinkier in person, but believe me, it's fabulous. Wonderfully creamy and failsafe, this matte blush is actually perfect for summer, but who doesn't need to bring a bit of summer into this shitshow of a weather snap?
It also looks beautiful layered over a shimmery bronzer, like elf studio warm bronzer.
I wholeheartedly recommend all of the Topshop blushers. A totally bargain at just over a fiver and they have a mirror inside which adds value, no? I just wish they'd thought about how filthy the white packaging gets rattling around your make up bag. (Sorry internet, I don't arrange all my make up on a snazzy lucite tray like the rest of yer.)
So, what are your favourite blushers? I could probably do a two-parter with this baby because I am evangelical about blusher.
Follow me, it'll be alright, I'll be the one who keeps you safe at night... @ToryFrostWrites