It's gonna get sappy up in here.
Hey guys, I came up with this great way to get people to send me free beauty products, er, I mean, COLUMN IDEA. No, seriously, for some reason I'm obsessed with which beauty products are the most objectively popular. It's just a way to put a little math or statistics or whatever on my face. 50,000,000 NARS Orgasm fans can't be wrong, right? (Oops, spoiler alert.)
Anyway, I reached out to the PR of several beauty companies to find out their top 5 bestselling products. These are the CURRENT bestsellers in the US only. (But if you'd rather have different information, just let me know.) First up, NARS.
THE MASSES HAVE SPOKEN BELOW.
When it comes to liner, I'm a liquid girl through and through. Whenever I try to use a pencil I immediately end up with the kind of smeary black eyes that a certain type of cool girl can pull off but I cannot. But this longwear liner is actually as good as a liquid liner when it comes to staying power. It creates a thick black line that HONESTLY doesn't smudge or smear for the 12 hours it promises (or all day, for that matter). I've been using it a few times a week when I remember how I used to stare at the thickly-applied liquid liner of this girl I hated in college while she was talking and just seethe. God I hated that stupid liquid liner. Also, this pencil is self-sharpening which is a huge plus for someone like me who often buys presliced fruit.
4. Audacious Lipstick in Anna, $32
I was surprised that with all the iconic super-bright NARS colors (Schiap! Cruella!), the most popular shade is this sort of subdued mauve. I normally don't fuck with a color like this, but I ended up really liking what the website copy describes as a "smokey rose." Even though it wasn't as attention-grabbing as some of my other shades, it was pretty. I still prefer the matte lip pencil, however.
3. Radiant Creamy Concealer in Custard, $29
I don't really need a concealer, but Jane said she lives for them, so I handed this one over to her for review:
"I put it on half of my face just now to show you how remarkable the difference is. My favorite concealers over the years up until now were Vincent Longo's, Benefit's Boing, Shu Uemura's and Laura Mercier's and this one will easily be my new staple. It is also easier to apply than those ones in little pots because it has that wand applicator. The shade may not have been right for me though -- come look and tell me what you think of the right half of my face!
It also goes on pretty matte, not shiny, which is a plus because I don't like to have to apply powder over it and then get the powder into those creases around my eyes."
(I looked at her face. It looked good. Jane is weird.)
2. Bronzing Powder in Laguna, $38
Presented without comment cause I don't know wtf to do with a bronzer. Sorry guys, I swept some onto my cheekbones ("cheekbones") for the pictures in this piece but I couldn't really tell if it did anything. A lot of other people like it though?
Wait! Hail Mary Review from Eugenia, who I asked to try this at like 7 pm last night:
"I'm not one to change up the loose powder foundation and bronzer I use (I don't even switch them out for the seasons, even though you are supposed to go with creamier, moisturizing ones for the winter), but NARS' Laguna is one I could definitely adopt. It has a fine feel, coming onto a brush lightly, and doesn't leave you looking like Teresa from the Real Housewives of New Jersey with a few swipes."
1. Blush in Orgasm, $30
I guess this is kind of a duh countdown moment. Everybody knows that Orgasm is pretty much the most popular blush in the history of the blush-wearing world. It's even better than an actual orgasm, as xoVain discovered. I mean, in the way it makes you look. Applying Orgasm blush is not in any way better than the feeling of an actual orgasm.
Anyway, if you're a beauty caveman and need me to tell you this: It's peachy and shimmery and pretty. Just buy it and put it on already.
Do you use any of the bestsellers? What other companies would you like to see me cover?