It's gonna get sappy up in here.
YSL Rouge Pur Couture 07, Le Fuschia
l love attention! One of my sworn enemies in the comments section once tried to insult me by calling me attention-seeking, and I was like "WHA? I TOLD THAT ONE ON MYSELF ALREADY." May as well call me "gorgeous" or "on time for dinner."
The same people like to point out that I also, duh, have daddy issues, which is actually a pretty misdirected insult if you think about it. Some women have dickhead dads who fuck us up. How is that our fault?
Blame who you want, a perfect storm of emotionally distant father/overbearing religious upbringing/too much book-learning/The Rocky Horror Picture Show colluded to make me a Grade A attention whore. LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M GENERALLY NEAR YOU.
And while the easiest kind of attention to aquire is sexual attention, lipsticks are also nice (if lacking the "punch" of a freely offered vagina.) I generally choose to put focus on my face by painting my lips the shade of a horny baboon's pulsating red underside, but when I get tired of seeing my same boring face in the mirror everyday, I dabble in labia shades.
PINK doesn't have to be boring -- it can be garish, too!
Probably my most favorite attention-grabbing pink of all time. I'm a sucker for anything with a "Le" prefix. One of the restaurants I go to with my girlfriends has a "Le Burger" on the menu and I feel so fancy ordering it! While I myself own dozens of lipsticks, I think YSL Rouge Pur Couture 01, 07 and and 13 are themselves a complete lipstick wardrobe -- Le Rouge, Le Fuschia and Le Orange.
2. YSL Fuschia Innocent 27 ($32)
I also own this subtle variation from YSL. I wandered around Sephora with 07 on my top lip and 27 on my bottom lip for at least half an hour trying to decide which I liked better before giving up and buying them both. And this is why I'm one of the 30% of Americans who have no savings. Get off my dick; it's my money.
YSL Rouge Pur Couture 27
3. NARS Funny Face ($24)
This is one of those cult-y desert island shades that some girls swear by like Russian Red or Black Honey. It's a slightly darker magenta shade with a bit of shimmer that I learned about from a porn star.
NARS, funny face
And I already told you about this Stila Liquid Lipstick in Petal that's pictured below and besides I'm not a beauty writer it's a fucking lipstick, you can see the picture!
Stila Long-Lasting Liquid Lipstick, Petal
4a. Bobbi Brown, Neon Pink
Upon Googling, I realized that Bobbi Brown Neons must have been limited edition -- I bought both"Atomic Orange" and "Neon Pink" from the collection this winter. So I guess if you like this one, you should, like, come over and use it before you go out? I have a cat, so if you're allergic you'll have to stay on the front stoop.
Bobbi Brown, Neon Pink
Probably about once a year, I get the urge to look like a giant Barbie doll land must have weird, baby pink lips, preferably paired with a shift dress and a bouffant. This is a ubiquitous drugstore shade -- I like it really cheap and chalky, like Wet N Wild Mega Last Lip Color in Think Pink. But my most recent discovery is Joe Fresh's matte lipstick in "Bubblegum," which seriously looks like it was made for a 5-year-old girl.
I also sometimes use MAC Snob for this look, which was one of the best-selling lipsticks. You really need a liner for this kind of baby pink -- I recommend MAC's In Sync. Also, pale pinks look way awesomer on girls with dark skin ala Nicki Minaj. (Love you Nicki! Call me, girl!)
Joe Fresh, Bubblegum
6. Makeup For Ever #36, Satin Fuschia ($19)
Another true Fuschia. Now that I see it in pictures, it's pretty close in color to YSL Le Fuschia, but it's more matte. Also, LULZ, my eyeliner looks ROUGH in that picture.
Makeup Forever 36
By the way, it is really hard to take accurate photos of lipstick shades -- I feel like Olivia's fancy camera distorts the colors, so I just snapped like 8 million photos of myself wearing each color in a bunch of different spots until I got an accurate reflection. I am dedicated to truth in lipstick reporting! NOW GIVE ME ATTENTION!