Is It Just Me, Or Do These Beauty Products Look Like Sex Toys?

Perhaps my mind is just stuck in the gutter.
Publish date:
October 16, 2014
Bedhead, perfume, vibrators, sex toys, curling iron, conditioner, shampoo, clarisonic, tigi

Lately, I’ve noticed a plethora of beauty products and tools lying around my house that look somewhat...sexual. It kind of reminds of the those crazy Cake Wrecks instances where the baker "accidentally" made a child's princess castle cake look exactly like a penis.

Perhaps my mind is just stuck in the gutter.


I'll start with the least naughty-looking object: the Clarisonic. Once you see the brush head, it’s pretty obvious that it’s not a sex toy or anything of that nature. But at first glance at the handle part, it could be mistaken as one.

If I didn’t know what this gadget was and saw it in someone’s bathroom, I might think differently, especially if I heard some buzzing going while they were in the shower.

But it’s not. It’s actually the best thing to happen to my skin. Ever.

When people ask me what my trick to great skin is, my number-one answer is always the Clarisonic. It cleans deep into the nooks and crannies of my face, blackheads and all (which I obsess over religiously). Now if I could only remember to keep it charged; once it dies, I forget about it for a long time.

Sorry, Clarisonic. I still love you unconditionally.

FHI Glamour Textured Curling Rod

This curling iron, though.

I really like how they call it a rod -- icing on the cake. It also comes with a Michael Jackson-like glove that will save you from getting your fingers burnt the hell up.

I don't think it takes much imagination to realize what this looks like. Am I right, or am I right?

I have to say that this curling iron (or rod, my bad) is genius. I own a few other irons, but this one gives me the best curls by far -- not too done up and not too loose. This was the exact tool I used for my wedding hair (see how awesome it turned out right here).

As soon as I took it out of its box while prepping for my wedding, my bridesmaids and I all looked at each other and started cracking up. I know, really mature for a 32-year-old, right? I’m not really sure what the inspiration behind the design was, but props to them for making it stand out. Every time I whip it out (sorry) I feel like I need to put on a cat mask and go spank someone.

It would also would suck really badly if you mistook this for your sexy toy while it was still cooling down.

Bed Head by TIGI Recharge Shampoo & Conditioner

We'll move on now to some Bed Head by TIGI products that were clearly created with sex in mind.

This Bed Head by TIGI Recharge line had to have been inspired by THIS. Right? It looks way too similar, in my humble opinion. Or is this a double duty beauty product? Just kidding. I think.

Anyhow, I really like these two products. They claim to remove pollutants, sweat and buildup for a "super reflective shine." And they do leave my hair looking all nice and shiny, like I just got a gloss treatment at a salon. They smell really good, too, which is always a plus for hair products.

Bed Head by TIGI After Party

After the party, there's an after party -- apparently in my bed, with this styling product, because the cap kooks just like this sexy-looking novelty:

The directions say to "smooth on dry hair and party on," but I apply it before I straighten my hair and it works wonders. My hair isn't super-frizzy in the first place, but this product really makes it silky post-straightening session.


World, meet the Travalo, a handy travel gadget that I've been obsessed with for quite some time now.

While one might mistaken it for a mini pocket rocket, it's actually a refillable perfume spray bottle -- as in, you can fill it up with your favorite perfume (as long as it's from an atomizer bottle).

All you do is pop the spray top off of your fragrance of choice, and pump it to the level of scent you need. If you fill it up all the way, you can get 50 sprays out of it. It works way better than the small glass fragrance vials too, as it won't break or leak in your bag. (I can't even count how many times I've opened my suitcase only to find that my expensive-ass perfume either shattered or leaked everywhere.)

You could also mix different fragrances together in the Travalo, which is genius. I haven't tried this yet, but I will be experimenting this fall for sure.

Revlon Clipless Ceramic Styling Wand

Wand, rod -- call it what you want, but this hair tool might win the prize for the product that most resembles a kinky sex toy. I saw this in Target and my husband and I both did double takes.

I don't own this particular gem of a hairstyling tool, but it claims to create gorgeous curls that last all day with less frizz. It looks like it was manufactured in the same factory as THIS, I know that much.

Do you have any of the same products or tools and see a sexual resemblance too? Or do you have any others that should be added to the "beauty products that look like sex toys" category?

By the way, I can't wait to see what fun ads Facebook comes up with after I've been searching around for butt plugs and vibrators all day.