It's gonna get sappy up in here.
So my friend Daniel was out in New York City last week and told me I should come out for the weekend. I couldn’t possibly do that, I thought, because I am not cool or spontaneous. Fast forward to me touching down at LaGuardia on Friday morning and BOOM, TYNAN TAKES NEW YORK.
But you know what I didn’t take? Anything that would keep me looking hot during my trip. I was so concerned with packing cute underwear and my phone charger that I didn’t pack a BB Cream or a clear mascara or ANYTHING. So I had to make it work on the fly.
OMG but wait, can I tell you about the xoJane girls first? I met them all when I was in New York! I’m DYING! My shuttle (glam) from the airport dropped me off in midtown directly across from a Starbucks, thank god. I stepped onto the sidewalk and had my “Thoroughly Modern Millie” arriving in New York City moment and then snatched a coffee.
As I was leaving, I was stopped by a woman who recognized me from xoJane! I had ARRIVED. What up, PeachGrenade! Thanks for being my welcoming committee, you are flawless.
ANYWAY. I can exclusively confirm that all the girls at xoJane are as cool as they seem. Olivia is cute, tiny and hilarious, like a crazy little bat. Madeline is the definition of elegance, and we were wearing the same nail color! Mandy was a fearless badass, and she even introduced me to one of my favorite writers, Sam Lansky! Hashtag fangirl. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Emily the entire time I was there, all tattooed and sexy. I even told her, “Emily, I could look at you all day.” Can we discuss how creepy I am?
And Jane. JANE. I don’t even have words. Warm, kind, beautiful, I could go on and on. You will never have a hug like a Jane hug.
Oh, my god, I love women, why am I gay?
BUT BACK TO BEAUTY. So, my biggest regret about my time in New York is that I didn’t take a Sephora Universal Atomizer.
This little shit. Even my stupid boyfriend has one and I don’t. We were at Sephora a week ago and he bought one and suggested I do the same.
“Tynan, you can’t go anywhere without wearing a fragrance, you should buy one of these. Weren’t you just talking about going to New York City with Daniel anyway?” he said to me.
“Red,” I replied with an eye roll. “You know I’m not that spontaneous. I am definitely not going to New York.”
These little atomizers aren’t exactly rocket science, but hello, they’re awesome. You don’t even need a funnel to fill them! You fill it by putting one side onto your favorite fragrance and just squirting away. It’s about the size of, I don’t know, a suppository, so it’s small enough to fit in your purse or carry-on. It’s only $15 so BUY ONE OF THESE. Don’t be like me, having to deviously slither into Jeffrey on 14th and douse yourself in Comme De Garcons PLAY every time you pass it.
WHAT ELSE? Ah, yes. Olay Total Effects Line and Dark Circle Minimizing Brush.
As Daniel and I were getting ready to go out on Saturday, he threw a tube of this my way. Between all the traveling and partying, I had barely slept in a couple of days, and it was really starting to show. I’m always rocking dark circles anyway since I never sleep, so I’m constantly looking for ways to hide them. This works great.
It’s not as much a concealer as it is a face cream, but it’s tinted enough to immediately cover up your dark circles. It made me feel like it was not only making me look better, but improving my skin, too! It applies with this surprisingly long brush, almost like a paintbrush. That may not impress you, but it totally sells me. I’m all about products with a cool applicator -- I’m THAT girl.
I just swept it under my eyes and then smeared it in with my fingers and just like that, I looked rested. Into it! Daniel is all about eye cream and preventing wrinkles, which is odd because 1. He’s young and 2. He’s gorgeous. But this is coming from the dude who just realized he should probably start caring about his face.
Do you use face cream? What do you use? Should I be using face cream? Tell me how I can be hotter and be immortally sexy. I want to be the Voldemort of beauty.
Oh, and finally, LUSH Sea Spray.
Wanna know a secret? I use sea spray like most people use dry shampoo. If my hair is oily, I just spray some in and fluff it around and it makes it look less nasty. Or, if I roll out of bed and don’t have time to shower, I use it to cover up bed head. I use a sea spray everyday regardless because I love how it makes my hair look kind of grimy and Pete Doherty-esque, but it can really come through for you when you’re in a pinch.
Even if I had remembered to take ANY of my beauty supplies, I wouldn’t have been able to take my sea spray because the bottle is too big to be carried on a plane. But the one from Lush is not! Weighing in at just 3.3 ounces, it is just the right size to throw into your carry-on and take through security without getting arrested.
With orange flower, grapefruit and neroli oil, the scent is strangely addicting, I kept thinking that it kind of smelled like a water park. I like the sea spray from Lush a lot more than the one I was previously using because it doesn’t make my hair feel crispy, and it’s got a tiny bit of gel in it, so the it gives you texture and volume too. My hair looks dirty and sexy, just the way I like it.
New York was really good to me. People were really nice, especially that cowboy who was dancing on top of the bar at Flaming Saddles who bent me backward and poured a shot of whiskey directly into my mouth. It’s like he knew me.
That’s my friend Brendan and I at Flaming Saddles. I just needed an excuse to use this picture because he’s a babe and I look just like my mom. I didn’t tell my ma I was going to New York because I didn’t want to worry her.
OK, you crazy bunch of hotties, what do you forget to pack when you skip town? OH. We were all talking tattoos in Emily’s office and MANDY said that I was too chicken to get the XO tattoo as part of the Jane Pratt cult, which is NOT true. I’d totally get one! Should I? I’ve been itching for another one.
Tynan is spontaneous on Twitter: @TynanBuck.