It's not easy being my assistant beauty editor, but it actually sort of is if you do your goddamn job right. JULIE.
Publish date:
March 16, 2012

SO. Quick Cat Marnell Career Recap: I was a beauty intern and contributing writer (


, starting age 20, for nearly two years; interns can write there), a beauty intern again (

Teen Vogue

), a beauty intern again (


a freelance beauty assistant (promoted at


; did this job for nearly two years), a staff beauty assistant (


), an associate beauty editor (


), a beauty freelance editor and writer (every women's magazine you can think of), and now, a beauty director. It took almost ten years. I learned a lot.

And I want a huge career for my protegeé of four years, Julie, so I son her -- A LOT. But she has it easy because I am like her big sister and she knows it. Seriously, if you saw how I used to get screamed at -- and Julie, who was around as a tween intern to see all that -- you'd know that while I sound very bitchy, I am actually only rarely ACTUALLY mean to her.

(I mean, I did make her cry yesterday but that was like the first time ever and I felt so bad I almost died; I apologized immediatly; didn't I, Julie? Oh, it was sad; I mean I was right about what I was pissed about but I did it front of all these people and it was embarrassing for her; ugh. So bad.)

Anyway, here is lesson one for assisting ("assistant editing", sorry babe; but guess what -- her title means HALF assistant, half writer/sort-of-editor; she is 23!) a beauty director: the beauty director sees every product first.

The assistant does not have a desk piled with all of the new stuff that the beauty director has to wander over to quizzically and discover, upon it, products that she has never seen before.

And I'm not just talking expensive stuff; it's not about that; I don't CARE about that. I've gotten every product free my whole life. It's about what's new or interesting in beauty -- MY EYES SEE IT FIRST, DUH -- about what I can consider writing about.

And guess what? It doesn't matter if Julie called it in or she went to the event or what: her job is to, absolutely without exception, show that stuff to me first. She writes about the stuff that I decline to consider for my own stories or personal use.

That has not been happening much lately in the xoJane beauty department, as you will observe in the video above.

This is Working in Editorial Beauty 101, Most Basic Lesson #1, and Julie actually knows better -- which is why my claws are out a bit in the video and which is why she sounds more sheepish than defensive.

More Beauty Department Rules to come -- enjoy! I WILL teach you how to get my career, young readers -- if you want it. Would those sort of columns be something you'd be interested in? COMMENTS please! xo

Cat's on Twitter @cat_marnell and bitches out Julie all the time on there too. Follow her please!