The 13 Realest Moments Post-Chopping Off My Hair

After my wedding, I cut off all my hair. Here’s what I learned.
Publish date:
March 27, 2015
beauty, husband, wedding, catcalling, short hair, Self-esteem, hair cut

Last summer, I got married. And like the cliche I am, shortly after my wedding, I chopped off all the hair I spent two years growing out. I'm talking enough to donate to Locks of Love... but of course I couldn't because there ain't nothin' virgin about this mop.

I love my new short cut. In fact, I've since cut it even shorter. That said, it wasn’t an easy transition. From revealing my short cut to my unsuspecting husband, to sort of looking like Justin Bieber when I wear a hat, there have been a lot of real moments. So if you’re thinking of chopping it all off, here’s what you can look forward to. According to me.

1. When My Stylist Made the First Cut

The day of my haircut, I started second guessing myself. Would I look like a mom, in a totally un-MILFy way? Would my husband still find me attractive? Would my face look fat? I noticed every person who walked by with short hair, taking a mental inventory of what I liked or didn't like.

But I’d made my decision.

I arrived at the salon, sat down and was all, "Let's do this." I could not wait for my stylist to make that first cut. When she did, we couldn't turn back. After the first big snip, I let out a big sigh of relief. I completely relaxed. I even got two scalp massages and a cup of chamomile Mighty Leafy Tea.

2. When I Saw the Wookiee-sized Pile of Hair on the Floor

I’ve never thought of myself as having a lot of hair, but that pile tells me otherwise.

3. When My Husband Saw It For the First Time

I absolutely didn’t tell my husband that I was getting my hair cut. I wanted to do it, and I suspected he probably wouldn’t respond with a “Go for it, honey!” ‘Cause he’s a guy and has no idea about hair! When I retuned from the salon, I winced as I walked in the door. After the initial shock, my guy was absolutely blown away at how much he liked it. And I 100-percent don’t think he was bullshitting me. Guys do like short hair. Myth = busted!

4. When I Styled it All by Myself

People who say short hair is “easy” have either A) never had short hair or B) spent a lot of time on their long hair—crazy stuff like blow drying with a round brush and maybe even using a spray!

I used to spend 20 seconds drying my bangs, then let my naturally curly hair do its thing. For best results, these days I’m drying the whole thing, flat ironing, then add a little texturing paste. I use this one from Number 4. It's so great and smells a bit like how I imagine a classy celebrity would (I’m looking at you, Amal Clooney!).

5. When I Realized My Bed Head Would Be Chronic

Along the short hair isn’t easy line, once you go pixie, you can’t rely on things like ponytails. Unless your cut is the same length everywhere and can be described as a "number two" on an electric shaver, you wake up everyday looking like the devil spawn of Don King. There’s no more shower skipping; no more jumping out of bed and on to your day. You must at least wet your hair every morning. Unless you like looking like the devil spawn of Don King, which is totally cool, just not for me.

6. When I Said Bye to Hats

I’m a hat person. Or I used to be a hat person. I love a big, floppy sun hat. And those cute felt numbers everyone’s all into? Want one! At one time, say, until the day I cut my hair, I donned a lot of baseball hats. Like, for example, going out for breakfast on the weekend. Now when I put on a hat, I feel like it looks really weird because ALL of my hair is covered. And forget stocking caps. I try to get a few bangs peeking out of the front to prove that I'm not bald. 

7. When I Realized My Hairdresser Might Know Me Better than My Life-long Friends.

I used to visit my hairstylist every 10 weeks. Now I'm there every six weeks, with a bang trim between each appointment. My stylist is up to date with everything in my life. If I were getting married this summer, she’d probably be a bridesmaid.

8. When I Looked at My Credit Card Statement & Realized Short Hair is Expensive 

My haircuts cost the same, but I get them twice as often. Ouch.

9. When I Started Caring More About My Appearance

The short hair makes me feel like my face is more on display, plus I don't want to feel too masculine. I've been wearing eyeliner almost daily and try to wear lipstick. And always, always, always pencil in my brows!

Clothing-wise I tend to lean toward simple outfits. Lots of plaid, tees, jeans, boots. Not a lot of feminine stuff. I guess you could call me a lumber-sexual, minus the beard. Now that my hair is short, I feel compelled to add a pop of color, floral prints or some jewelry. Except earrings. Why do long earrings look weird with short hair? I dunno, they just do.

10. When I realized I have an actual hairstyle

Before the chop, my hair got so long and boring and triangular. But it got there so s-l-o-w-l-y that I barely noticed I no longer had a hairstyle. Now that I’ve gotten the hang of it, my hair looks great blow-dried, air-dried, swept to the left OR right OR combed back (as long as I use an eyebrow pencil.... if I don't, I look like Brienne of Tarth).

11. When I Stopped Getting Catcalled

Maybe this is in my head, but while I feel pretty around my husband, I don't necessarily feel like random dudes on the street take much notice of me. I've said this before and I will say it again: You could literally have six eyes and an upside-down nose and most guys would still check you out if they caught a glimpse of your flowing blonde/brunette/red locks. Long, beautiful hair is a magnet for creepers. I don't miss that one bit.

Interestingly, every compliment I’ve received from men (and there have been waaaay more than I expected), has been non-threatening and genuinely nice. Like the time some random dude in his 40s came up to me at a bar and said, “Pardon me, but I wanted to tell you that I think you have a great haircut.” Aw, shucks!

12. When I Overheard Someone Throwing Shade at My New Look

I’m going to keep your identity anonymous because we are basically related, but I overheard you ask an engaged family member, “You’re not going to cut your hair like Molly after you get married, are you?” I’m not sure what that’s all about, but it’s a real moment I will never forget. You’re not very nice, lady!

13. When I Realized I Felt More Like Myself

Even though this short hair is a pain in a lot of ways, when I left 10 inches of hair on the salon floor, I felt so much happier. I liked my longer hair, but I never quite loved it like I love the short stuff. It's fun. It's different. It's me.