I like living – you get to wake up every day, eat snacks, wear hair extensions, get a little slizzy, maybe have a hot guy rub your feet... If all of those things happen in one day, that’s even better. However, there are many less than satisfactory obstacles getting in the way of my perpetually boozy, sexy existence – like paying bills and cleaning the kitchen.
It goes without saying that I would rather lie on a beach in a coconut bikini than sort my laundry, but I don’t have the circumstances (aka money) to do so. Even though a last minute private jet ride to Miami isn’t a possibility (YET -- just wait until I win the lottery), I can still fake it with the help of my boundless creativity and a fermented beverage or two.
Wouldn’t life go from 0 to 100 if we could just cut out the grown-up stuff and make every day a vacation? The answer is yes, yes it would. I need a vacation y’all.
My favorite way to prevent a mental breakdown is to avoid consistent periods of time working and growing stress ulcers. Fun and real life should alternate in appropriately timed intervals, which is why I would like to send a virtual high five to whomever invented brunch. Thank you, brunch inventor, for giving me a reason to relax in the afternoon. Brunch is basically just an excuse to eat pancakes and drink at 4 p.m.
As a morning person, I love accomplishing my goals (which usually consist of writing an article, maybe studying economics, and going to the gym) before noon, leaving boundless time to do whatever I want. The feeling is similar to giving yourself the day off.
On one particularly sunny day, I decided to invite a few friends over to my apartment for a daytime hangout on my stoop. It had been a while since we gossiped and caught up on the latest episodes of "Scandal" together.
We had so much fun that we decided to meet up again the following afternoon, this time including a DIY brunch. I mean, what were we thinking -- meeting up without involving food?
I live in New York, so obviously someone would steal my small side-table given the opportunity. We alternated between chilling outside, and carrying the table and dishes back into the kitchen to cook more food and prepare more drinks. If you want to get a laugh, try having your tipsy friends carry furniture in and out of your apartment.
Partying in the afternoon is great, because when the fun is over you can still end the night like an old woman, watching TV on the couch before an early bedtime. Ah, serenity.
In between my mid-week brunch and the weekend, I was back to my bill paying, school attending reality. I spent the next three days counting down to the weekend, when I can dance in front of strangers. When I’m not rotting in my bed for hours, my weekend plans consist of either house parties or clubbing (yawn). I was beyond excited to switch things up and have a girl’s night at a fashion event.
Before any night out, I love spending a large gratuitous chunk of the evening pampering myself and putting on my hot girl disguise. On this Friday night in particular, I decided to turn my living room into the beach.
I don’t have any roommates, which means I spend the majority of my life as a naked weirdo. Wearing a bikini is the next best thing to being naked, so I zipped up my melon bandeau and turned my couch into the beach. Lying on a towel almost made me forget sofa cushions were underneath me – hey, I was buzzed so it could have been a soft bed of sand.
While basking in the rays of my TV set, I ditched the tanning oil and instead marinated in a facemask. Trés relaxing.
After a bit of molting on the beach – I mean, couch – it was time to make myself relatively presentable for the primp-fueled pre-game. Girls are like wolves, we love doing things in packs -- all of these activities are best when done in the presence of fellow females.
In anticipation of sweating most of my makeup off dancing all night, I chose an effortless, natural, sun-kissed look. I created a smoky eye with neutral eye shadows, set some concealer with my favorite powder, and created a faux glow with a shimmery bronzer using a fan brush.
After emptying the entire contents of my closet on my bed, my friends helped me to decide on a printed crop top and skirt. Now we could focus on the actual pre-game part of the pre-game.
My friends and I are about as girly as girls get, and are sold on Palm Breeze which is a new tropical drink I’ve just discovered. These malt beverages were basically sent from heaven to girls like us, who prioritize both fun and flavor.
Eventually, we brought our beachy vibes to the event – crop tops and all – and had a blast. The only things girls love more than going to the bathroom together are GIF photo booths, especially when props and gold streamers are involved.
So cute, right? My stressful week needed some spontaneous girl time, it definitely helps to keep the crippling stress at bay. Maybe I can turn this into a habit…
April showers aren’t over, so real beach action does not appear to be in my near future. Until then, I will continue to pretend that New York is full of white sand instead of concrete, and add a bit of casual paradise into my week.