In case you’ve been living under an educated, ambitious, adult life, Pinterest is a site that puts millions of frilly, Martha Stewart-ey, user-submitted lifestyle photos into an aesthetically-pleasing, categorized, infinity-scroll format, which the user can then "pin" onto virtual bulletin boards.
It’s where people like me go to accidentally burn through precious weekend and weeknight hours instead of meeting my deadlines.
What’s cool is each Pinterest photo actually links to the original source, which often is a recipe, blog post or online store, so you can actually make the featured fashion/beauty products/home decor/toys/DIY projects/blonde models in hipsterwear on your own, or at least learn more about them. It’s one part digital crack cocaine and one part petri dish of American girl culture.
OK, so Pinterest exists. What actually needs to be addressed is how the site (and perhaps America, in general) has become overwhelmingly inundated with inbred dessert recipes from hundreds of domestic diva Blogspots.
Pinterest used to have classy dessert photos from fancy restaurants peppered in amongst beautiful Kelly Wearstler-decorated spaces and artsy fashion shoots from your favorite chichi magazines. The best you can look forward to now in the partially-hydrogenated JPG spiderweb is cellulite or jowls.
Peruse the Food & Drink category of Pinterest here. Nearly every photo links to a recipe that combines cake mix, brownie batter and cookie dough with other semi-homemade ingreeds to craft truffles, pops, cups, cakes, bars, macarons and fudge, to name a few. Cookie Dough Truffles. Pancake Pops. Oreo Cupcakes. Funfetti Popcorn. Funfetti anything, really. Even the unlikliest of combos (and triple combos) exist.
I was increasingly grossed by the results when I searched: Donut Macaron, Cupcake Banana Split Kebobs, Brownie Birthday Cake Pops, Oreo Cheesecake Cookies, Bacon Macaron, Pancakes on a Stick, Reeses Stuffed Oreos, Popcorn Cake and S’more Cobbler. I also came across other weird stuff that isn’t dessert-related.
My personal favorite: Cake Batter Dip. That sounds made-up by terrorists. If we let the oils clog our arteries, they’ve won!
So, given the massive amount of dessert inbreeding that’s occuring at this very moment, I’m proposing a challenge to you, the readers of XOJane. Find a combination of items in the below column that doesn’t exist on Pinterest. I’m fairly certain a stiletto-wearing, KitchenAid Mixer-hoisting blogger has covered every possible combo.
• Cookie Dough
• Cake Batter
• Red Velvet
• Salted Caramel
• Chocolate Chip
• Cinnamon Bun
• Red Velvet
• French Toast
• Peanut Butter
• Salted Caramel
• Ice Cream
• Peppermint/Candy Cane (Seasonal)
• Pumpkin Spice (Seasonal)
Bonus words to add to your search, for entertainment’s sake:
• Mason Jar
• On A Stick
• Edible Spoon
Let me know what you find, what you don’t find or what grosses you out. Frankly, I feel a little Atherosclerosis-ey. ALSO: Follow XOJane’s Pinterest page here.