If someone held a gun to your head or whatever. Also: who volunteers to update my Wikipedia page for me?
I saw the tweet last Sunday, while I was scrolling through my timeline right after I got out of the shower. I immediately screamed “WHAT" and sat on the bed in a towel for a good hour.
My first reaction to this was “My stars! I am offended! I shall retweet this to remind myself to read it later and prepare to flame with righteous outrage!”