YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: I Don't Know How To Kiss

I haven't been seeing this current guy long enough to be comfortable "learning" with him, when it's something I've kind of had anxiety about for a decade.

Jul 25, 2013 at 6:30pm | Leave a comment

image
I have a really embarrassing and seriously urgent problem: I am a 23 female who doesn't know how to kiss.
Backstory: When I was in elementary and middle school, I had speech issues and went to speech therapy for years. I never had the control over my tongue that I guess most people have, but I've improved some over time. When I had my first kiss, it didn't matter that I had no idea what I was doing- we were both freshman and didn't know a good kiss from a bad kiss. Next kiss: a more experienced male friend in high school, with tongue, and afterwards he said, "we're going to need to work on the kissing." I felt so humiliated and we never kissed again. Then I started dating a guy towards the end of high school and I was so self-conscious that I became a permanently closed-lip kisser, even during sex. And I did the same with all of my other relationships/hookups. Ex-boyfriends have said what amazing blow jobs I give, but I kind of feel like that is less a compliment about tongue technique, and more a "wow, you don't have a gag reflex!" 
Right now I am casually seeing a guy that I have messed around with some, and I think it's finally time for me to figure this kissing stuff out. I don't have any friends that I would be comfortable asking to "practice" with, and reading a ton of articles from Cosmo is not building any confidence. I haven't been seeing this current guy long enough to be comfortable "learning" with him, when it's something I've kind of had anxiety about for a decade.
Have you got MAD ISSUES? E-mail our lovely commenters for advice at advice@xojane.com so we can help you out.