YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: Getting Involved with a "Fat" Guy and Feeling Ashamed of my Shame

I was grappling with feeling guilty that I was sort of ashamed to be involved with him.

Dec 16, 2013 at 6:30pm | Leave a comment

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Two years ago I started hooking up with a guy who was pretty overweight. It never got too serious and the whole time I think I was grappling with feeling guilty that I was sort of ashamed to be involved with him. We ended things and I started dating someone else. My relationship has since ended and I recently ran into the overweight guy at a party and we ended up kissing. I am really attracted to him and I would like to try dating him. But then, I think about having sex with him and get a little freaked out and I additionally still have some of the feelings of shame and embarrassment that I felt the first time we were involved. I feel extremely guilty that I am having these doubts and feelings of shame (and I am sure to an extent they are intertwined with my own body issues) but if I am being honest with myself, they are there. I would really like to give this a shot, he is a really wonderful guy and I am definitely attracted to him. I'm just wondering if other people have gotten into relationships with people who are much heavier than they are and if there was any process of navigating "fat stigma" within themselves. 

What do you think she should do? Get over it and let love live? Walk away if it's too much of an issue? Let her know in the comments!

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