Here's your place to come talk about sex and love whenever you feel like it.
I love having sex on my period.
I haven’t always loved it. Not that I used to hate the act, per se, just that it wasn’t always the done thing, and I was happy to leave it alone until my ovaries weren’t oozing everywhere. Until my current boyfriend.
We have sex a lot, so being on my period is not at all a reason to stop us. Why waste those precious days, just because I happen to be bleeding? As one of my brilliant friends said, “Would you not have sex just because you had a cold?” Hell no! But obviously, not everyone feels this way about it.
Sure, period sex can be messy, but life is messy! Plus bedding can be cleaned, so it’s really no big deal if a little bit of blood ends up on the sheets. I’m sure some people have a real phobia of messing up their duvet in this way, and that’s fine – personal preferences are important, and we should abide by how our partner feels on topics such as this. But if you’re curious about period sex or, like me, just get so god damned horny when you’re menstruating, then please do the right thing and fuck somebody. Because it could be really great.
Let me break down the reasons I love having sex when I’m on my period. Firstly, I love that I’m having sex. Sex is great. Whenever, however. Next up, the fact that my man doesn’t care about a bit of blood, a natural bodily function that happens every month, makes the sex even better. He wants to have sex with me, no excuses. Yes please. Next, period sex is more intense. I don’t know if it’s because of the extra lubrication, or the fact that my body really enjoys the extra attention when it’s going through such misery, but often my orgasms are more intense, and I just feel great after.
Finally, as an activity for couples, it truly feels like instead of moping, hugging that hot water bottle and a tub of ice cream, you’re focusing on the hot person you’re with and embracing the fun stuff that only you do together. Being on your period is not enough of a reason for sex to be off-limits, or for intimacy to be banned for several days.
When I asked my Facebook friends for their opinions, it was 50/50. Some people were straight-up disgusted. The other half were so into it, they sent me TMI private messages about why they loved it so much.
I was definitely heartened by the positive responses. With such a taboo topic, it can be nerve-wracking to ask people for their opinions as you never know what response you’ll get. I have no qualms telling people I love period sex, but realise that some people will be disgusted by this fact and think I’ve made bad life choices. But judging others is pretty sucky, so let’s examine some anonymous online responses on the topic.
Someone gave me one of the best summations from one of their friends. Apparently, period sex is the equivalent of vomiting while giving a blow-job. Wait, what?! This may be one of the most misogynistic things I’ve ever heard. So throwing up on someone, an act which although is a normal bodily function, only occurs in certain circumstances, is akin to period blood, which happens to almost all women (and only women, as opposed to vomit which is universal) every month throughout their lives.
I found this comparison pretty offensive. My vagina doesn’t vomit blood, just as your stomach doesn’t start a gentle flow of bile on a particular day each month. The fact that the vagina is demonized this way on a regular basis is constantly shocking to me. Why are we allowing our important lady-parts to be denigrated, considered filthy and offensive? Haven’t we moved on from Biblical statements about women being unclean on their periods? It seems not.
Next up there were friends who had never discussed period sex with their partners, had never done it and would never want to. Although I’d advocate talking about absolutely everything with your partner, I can totally understand knowing something isn’t for you and just not doing it. The honesty with which these friends opened up, openly discussing all the feels they have about the issue, was totally heartening, and I’m glad there’s a discourse, and an opportunity for self-reflection.
Finally, there were those individuals who revel in giving as much information as possible on personal topics. And I salute these people. The women who said, “Why wouldn’t I get mine when I’m on my period?” or, “Nothing stops a man having sex for a week each month, so why should anything stop me?” are my heroes.
What’s important, though, is to do whatever feels right for you. If for any reason you don’t want to have period sex, and you know in your heart/vagina that it’s not right for you, then don’t. What I’m all for is self-examination, and figuring out why you might feel a certain way about an act like this. Whether you care to admit it or not, there are often deep-rooted prejudices in many people’s opinions and beliefs, and unpacking these can throw up some surprising opportunities you may never have considered.
I love period sex, and can’t recommend it enough. If there’s a voice in your head that thinks you might be in the same school of thought, I encourage you to throw caution, and your tampon, to the wind. You may surprise yourself.