A Man Posted My Vagina on the Internet and I'm Kind of OK With It

If any of you happen to visit submityourex.com in the future and see a young vagina on display, I hope it’s mine. And I hope you thoroughly enjoy it.

Jan 31, 2013 at 4:00pm | Leave a comment

My vagina is on the Internet. And I’m kind of OK with that. 

How did my typically stage frightened vag wind up in the public eye you might ask? Let me say this -– it was by no choice of my own. 

When I was nearly 18, I met one of the most physically desirable people to walk the face of this earth. (Six years later, I stand by that judgment). I was at a friend’s going away party; he was a friend of the family who happened to wander into the yard for a few late-night drinks. 

Overly hormonal and scantily clad, I decided I would have that man. And have him I did. On his bed, pinned to the kitchen counter, in his car and back to the bed in reverse position. By the end of the night I’d cornered him and taken advantage of him in every way I could imagine. 

And let me tell you, I have an active imagination. 

At one point I was sprawled on my back taking a breather while he sipped a glass of water. Leering at me from behind his cup, he leaned over and flatly stated, “Let me take a picture of you.” 

Of course. “Just keep my face out of it.” 

On and on it continued for hours. Months. Years. I graduated high school and ran to New York, while he was 30-something and always in Ohio when I came back home for a visit. We continued in a friendly, mutually beneficial relationship. Most of our time together revolved around slightly taboo acts of debauchery, but occasionally we’d chat about the girl he couldn’t seem to make it work with (no, they weren’t together at the time) and I’d happily ramble on about my overly ambitious dreams.

While I was away, we’d exchange pictures and texts late at night while no one was around. Overall, we got along. He was handsome. It was uncomplicated and ridiculously satisfying. 

A few years later, I decided it was time to cut my sometimes sexual partners out of my life and move on to more fulfilling relationships. It was time for me to have big girl partners.  

So one by one, I let all the friends with benefits fade. Most died without confrontation or conversation. Time seems to sever all ties if you let it. However, this particular guy wouldn’t budge. The subtle hints and ignored messages did nothing to drive him away. 

Finally, right before a trip back to Ohio I found him on G-chat and explained simply that we wouldn’t be meeting up any more; it was time I moved on. 

Thinking it was purely physical between us and completely harmless, I assumed that would be the end of that. A few sentences, maybe a “good luck” or “goodbye” and off we’d go on our separate paths. 

That was not the case. 

He responded back begging, pleading, threatening. Anything he could think of to make sure I’d arrive at his house pants-less and horny during my next visit. I just stared at my screen while he sent message after message. I was completely dumbfounded. 

Finally he seemed to run out of steam and let a few minutes pass before sending the final few messages.  

Him: “I still have photos of you.” 

Me: “Are you blackmailing me into sex?” 

Him: “…..” 

Him: “Submityourex.com” 

image

Ummmm….. What?? 

And that was it. A few seconds later one of us had blocked the other from chatting and I was left staring at my screen feeling slightly embarrassed, a little angry, but mostly confused. Very confused. Did he really post pictures of me online? Was my face in any of those pictures? Oh God, please tell me my face wasn’t in those pictures. Will I be able to beg someone to remove those photos?

Before the reality of the situation fully sunk in, I’d already enlisted the help of 2 friends to screen thousands of photos on the ever popular revenge porn website (designed for angry boys to post naked pictures of ex girlfriends) with the hope we’d be able to spot me and my naked bod. It was like the world’s most perverted game of Where’s Waldo.

In the end, it was neither friend who happened upon my uncovered lady bits. It was me. 

I’d been searching for days, knowing full well it could take a few hours to a few weeks for photos to be uploaded from submissions. I’d looked at so many girls in so many compromising positions at that point that I was beginning to see vaginas everywhere.

And I mean everywhere. In the clouds, in my dreams, in the vegetable aisle of the grocery store. Every time I closed my eyes I’d see vaginas floating past. The entire world looked like a Georgia O’Keefe painting. 

When I wasn’t looking at naked ladies who’d broken vengeful boys’ hearts, I was thinking about the fact that at any minute a fully nude photo of me could go live for the world to see. 

I’d become so numb to the close up, amateur porn on that site that when I finally found myself in the masses I almost missed it –- out of thousands of photos there was one that looked uncomfortably familiar. It was a belly button-and-down shot, so it took me several takes and a quick comparative visit to the bathroom mirror before I could be sure. 

We had a match. 

And looking at that picture posted on a website that was intended for shame, I couldn’t help but giggle. I’d been swimming in a sea of pubes and labia for nearly a week and what I finally found was harmless. Anyone without deeply intimate knowledge of my downstairs area would never put two and two together when looking at my unintentional porn pics. If only every girl on that website was so lucky.

So there it is. My vagina is on the internet where everyone can see, but no one will ever know which it is.  

Something about that makes me chuckle. This older man had attempted to blackmail me into sex using what I believe to be a completely unidentifiable photo. 

Thank God I asked to keep my face out of those pictures. 

Looking back on the whole strange experience I can say that while I may still be slightly annoyed that it happened, I regret nothing on my part. I had some of the most satisfying sex of my life with a man I was insanely attracted to at the time. He never hurt or took advantage of me until the blackmail/revenge porn/photo mishap. 

Yea, that little mishap. 

That being said, if any of you happen to visit submityourex.com in the future and see a young vagina on display, I hope it’s mine. And I hope you thoroughly enjoy it. 

Because owning my vagina’s public appearance seems to be the best revenge there is for a blackmail attempt like that.