Here's your place to come talk about sex and love whenever you feel like it.
Read more from Alyssa at xoVain!
It might make you super uncomfortable and vaguely nauseous, but your parents all at one point had sex. How else would you exist? Although it would be really stupid cute if we were all dropped out if the sky by a stork, the gritty truth is most of us came out of a vagina.
Personally, I've never had an issue with the cold hard truth about parental sex, but that's probably because growing up in my house my sister and I were taught that sex is a healthy and important part of a relationship, not something that should be hidden.
My parents are the opposite of conservative, and always respected us as adults with control of our own body. They taught us about safe sex at a young age, and always encouraged us to be honest if we were curious about anything. In response, I always respected them as more than parents: They were people too, and I wanted them to be happy and enjoy their marriage just like I would want for myself.
This mutual understanding has helped us have a super close relationship, even though I live across the country, and we share a lot more with each other than most parents and their offspring would.
My parents are a special case in many ways. For one, they're really in love, and they're not afraid to show it. I'd often walk into the kitchen as a teen to catch them kissing quietly by the sink, and they almost always hold hands or have some other form of physical contact.
The really unbelievable thing about them as a pair though is their history. They met at 13 years old. My mom saw my dad walk by while she was on her Grade 7 tour of her new high school, and instantly knew he was the boy for her. They broke up twice during high school, but both times realized they had made a horrible mistake and won the other back. They were married and living together at 18, and had me at 23, the age I am now.
They've been smitten ever since I can remember, sharing everything with one another because it just makes them happier than being with friends or alone. They're living proof that a fairy tale romance is possible, and I admire their relationship and commitment so much, though its not the path I personally would've taken.
My parents also like to... keep things interesting. Over the years I've seen them attend various Pride events (an amazing show of support to me), and I've taken them to drag shows here in Toronto which they adored. They love to dress up in racy costumes and go to parties and fetish nights.
In fact, this Halloween they found themselves at a private sex-themed event dressed up as a commander (my mom) and her private (my body painted dad). My mom told me over the phone afterwards that many of the women took their tops off to dance at the end of the night, though she did not.
I've seen erotic literature on their bedside table, and have always been aware there are good reasons I was told not to poke around in their bedroom closet. My mom is headed to Dan Savage's annual amateur porn festival/competition "HUMP" with some friends this November, and I'm sure I'll hear all about it when she gets back. Most kids (what are grown-up children called? still kids?) would be mortified to know such details, including my little sister, who has always been uncomfortable with my parent's openness regarding their physical life.
But you know what? I think it's awesome.
My parents have been together for 33 years (married for 28 of them) and they're still not sick of each other. They don't cheat, neither one is sneaking away to strip clubs in the night, and they almost never fight about anything. They really truly love each other and desire each other, and isn't that what we all hope for in a marriage?
They're the most committed couple I know of, whether they're my parents or not, and if they experiment a little bit and it helps keep things interesting, who am I to judge? I'd take passionate honest parents over divorced angry ones any day, even if sometimes their comments are a bit TMI for me (aka the time my Dad insisted he was serious about buying a sex swing).
When I told my parents I wanted to write this, they were a little skeptical. They were worried for the way people would react to my stance on parents having sex, and give me a hard time for discussing it openly. I told them (obviously) that I didn't care, that I was proud of them and how they raised me.
Satisfied, the conversation quickly switched to talk of all of the fun and crazy things they have done together during the course of their marriage. My Dad chimed in he thought the post should be called, "Secrets for the Success of a Happy Marriage." And really, I can't think of a happier marriage than that of my parents. I can only hope I can be as committed as they are to someone for as long as they have been.