The Best Cherry Red DSL Lipstick Plus: Wanna See Me Deepthroat a Banana?

A late entrant to the best red lipsticks contest, and a sex tip because I'm a huge slut who needs a lot of attention.

Mar 14, 2012 at 12:00pm | Leave a comment

The other day, when I wrote about my favorite red lipsticks, my list was a bit heavy on the orange-y reds. So yesterday I went looking for a true medium red, and discovered Lancome's Rouge in Love line, which comes in 3 color categories: Jolis Matins (fresh shades for daytime wear), Boudoir Time (pop shades for cocktail hour) and Tonight is my Night (intense shades for magical nights).

That last one obviously means humping, so it's fitting that 170N, or "Sequence of Love" -- they all have weird, love-related names -- is the perfect glossy cherry Popsicle red of my porno dreams.
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Rather than just take a picture, I decided to make a video so you could see the color on. And since it's kind of boring to watch someone try on lipstick, I decided to give you a blowjob tip to go along with this shade, which let's face it, would look awesome left behind on a penis.
 

I think all heterosexual women should have a great blowjob in their arsenal alongside like, ability to change a tire. It's just so powerful. If you're really great at giving a blowjob, you don't even have to be that nice to your boyfriend/husband. (The first time I typo-ed "husbad" -- Freudian?) It's like one of those mind eraser things from "Men in Black." You can tell a man you just banged his best friend, but then if you blow his mind with your mouth sex, afterward he'll be all like, "What? I didn't see any aliens."

In case you are turned off by my shoddy application (it was nerves!), here is Emma Watson wearing the shade in the advertisement. Not that I'm suggesting anything about her blowjobbing abilities. Wizards probably have some kind of beej spell so they don't have to get their jaws sore or worry about somebody cumming in their eyes. (Emma Watson, I am sorry to have put this sentence anywhere in the vicinity of your pretty face.)

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Get more sex tips from @msemilymccombs on Twitter, after dark.