I Have a Crush on Messed-Up, Crooked Teeth

Gotye has made me realize that boy howdy do I love me some snaggletooth!

Feb 6, 2012 at 1:05pm | Leave a comment

Like millions of other people I’ve been really into that song by Gotye lately. It’s funny because the first time I heard “Somebody That I Used to Know” on the radio, I found it so annoying I didn’t even make it through the intro before changing the station. It was only when I saw the video that I came to love it.

This is completely due to the singer’s amazing crooked teeth, which I find insanely attractive and mesmerizing. Now when I hear the song I think of that wide, jagged mouth. Those chompers seriously give me shivers of pleasure.

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Gotye has made me realize that I have a crush on crooked teeth. Oh boy do I love me some snaggletooth on a man. Not so much as to impede eating or anything, but enough to give a person character.

I‘m especially partial to fangs, having always treasured my own protruding canines.

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It isn’t just crooked teeth on men that do it for me. Most of the famous women out there who I think are really pretty have something weird going on with their teeth as well. There is Jewel and her twisted-up canine, Rachel Weisz who I think is perhaps the most beautiful women who has ever lived, and Emma Stone, whose teeth may not be crooked per se but they definitely have something not quite normal happening. Overbite perhaps? I don’t know, but it is super-cute.

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I really hope that Gotye doesn’t go changing his teeth now that he’s famous like so many people do. (I'm looking at you Noel Gallagher and Avril Lavine.)

In general, I really wish people would stop getting those veneers that make you look like a street drawn caricature of yourself. Bo-ring. Give me a crooked set of chompers any day over a set of fakey white alien teeth.

I know I’m not alone in this this. What's up Japan?

Apparently, as we bleach and bend the hell out of our teeth to make them absolutely perfect, in Japan, women are getting fake snaggletooth to be more attractive to Japanese men, who think that an imperfect bite makes the ladies cuter and more approachable.

While I personally think it is ridiculous to purposefully fuck up your mouth, I do kind of hope this becomes a trend in the US as well. I’d like to see more busted-up teeth on display in pop culture. Then I could have more crooked tooth crushes in the near future.