The Even MORE Scandalous Birth Control Post We DIDN'T Run

A sneak peek into our editorial process!

Oct 13, 2011 at 6:00pm | Leave a comment

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Here at XOJane, we're all about choice. Like say, the choice to watch reality television, wear maroon with taupe or irresponsibly write about letting strangers ejaculate in us.

Sometimes, we forget that our posts have consequences, legal, political and otherwise. I don't know if you know this, but Chik-Fil-A is actually closed on Sundays because of the XOJane post, "Oh My God, I Love Working on the Sabbath." Every time you can't have a biscuit at the food court because the gate is down, I want you to blame me. I deserve it.

Because, as is the case with most web sites, every employee at XOJane must approve of every post, from Jane herself to the topless greased-up Guatemalan teenager who brings us our sandwiches every day. If you don't like a post, please sue and blame every single one of us accordingly, especially the sandwich guy, because he forgot my mayonnaise last week. Personally, I have a big oversized novelty stamp that says "APPROVED BY JULIEANNE SMOLINSKI," just so people know that I don't just write about Alf and my breasts all day.

So, in an effort to prove how responsible we are, here are just a few more (potentially great pageview earners!) articles we declined to run in our health section. Out of integrity.

Buttery Staircases: A Great Form of Homeopathic Birth Control

Jumping Up and Down After Sex: Cheap Ways to Save on Contraceptives

Plan C: Flea and Tick Medicine and Other Stuff That'll Probably Also Work if You Take Enough of It

Sex Advice From Your Great Great Great Grandma: Douche With Lysol, Just Like She Did

How to Tell Your Boss You Have to Go Home Because You Think Your IUD Is Loose

Pay Off Your School Loans By Working at a Chinatown Rub and Tug Joint

PID: The STI That is Also a Birth Control

"Salsa Lessons at the Y" and Other Funny Names for Your Period

The Case for Meeting a Strange Guy from Craigslist in an Alley

How Dirty ARE Dirty Needles?

It Happened to Me: I Ate Raw Hamburger I Left in a Hot Car

The XO Jane Book Club: Cat Marnell Reads the DSM-IV

Nutmeg, DayQuil, and Other Stuff In Your Cupboard That Can Probably Get You Loaded, in a Pinch

Coolie Hats: Racist, or Racist Chic?

Those Dirty Needle Containers at Airports: A Great Way to Get New Dirty Needles

1,001 Unprotected Sex Positions