Boob Forum: Showing Your Boobs to People

When was the last time you showed your boobs to someone while not in the act of sexing? Did it involve alcohol?

Jun 29, 2012 at 5:00pm | Leave a comment

image

Self-portrait with boobs.

I take a lot of pictures of my boobs. They're very photogenic. In fact, I think they look better in photographs than in real life, or at least better head-on than the angle I can see them from. Plus, in a photo, you can kind of subtly smush them together with the sides of your arms, whereas in real life you look weird if you do that.

I have a sober friend who used to show her boobs to people nearly every time she got drunk. She told me that, in her addled mind, she used to feel that she was bestowing a beautiful gift upon the bar strangers who got to see them. YOURE WELCOME, she was thinking mentally as her friends pulled her topless from the bar.

I kind of feel like that about my boobs, like I've got the Mona Lisa boxed up in my closet or I'm secret-dating Ryan Gosling and no one can ever know. (Ryan Goslings and his ilk actually gross me out on a sexual level, but I wanted you to understand my shorthand. Blech, good-looking guys are the worst.)

So I try to show them to my boyfriend a lot, but after 8 years of exposure, my boobs get about as much attention as the sofa.

They're the body eqiuvalent of a cat that's not a kitten anymore -- you still love it, but you don't really sit around staring at it and talking about it the way you used to. And let's be honest, you don't really love it as much either.

So I guess that's why I take the pictures -- just to remind myself, "Hey, you got some good-looking lady lumps there, tiger!" and maybe occasionally share them with a trusted friend/boy band member I'm stalking.

But back in the day, breast-flashing was basically part of my karaoke routine, after awkwardly suffling through the bridge, but right  before hitting a really kick-ass high scream.

When was the last time you showed your boobs to someone while not in the act of sexing? Did it involve alcohol? It gets so much harder to have an excuse to do fucked up things when you don't drink. I basically have to wait until everyone else is drunk enough not to remember what I did, and that takes til like 3 am and you get so tired when you're not drinking!

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