Here's your place to come talk about sex and love whenever you feel like it.
Is it too early for New Year's resolutions? I hope not, because I thought of one of mine yesterday: In 2015, I want sex to be a more thoughtful experience.
I don't mean thoughtful like considerate or pensive; I mean being more punctilious: taking my time instead of rushing into it, being more attentive and less habitual, and making the experience a more sensory one. I know, how much more sensory can sex get, right? It's sex. But I'd like to put some consideration into the atmosphere. (Perhaps my fleeting willingness to go to a seedy motel a few weeks ago made something switch in my brain.)
A big part of that, for me, is music. I haven't put thought into and enjoyed a great sex playlist in a really long time. A well-curated soundtrack shouldn't be underestimated when it comes to putting two in-the-mood people even more in the mood; in the past, the right music has made me feel even more passionate.
So, heads up potential sexual partners: In 2015, I'm gonna wanna listen to these songs while we're doin' it.
"Take Me To Church" by Hozier
When I first heard of (not heard) Hozier, I was ready to ignore him in much the way I ignored Gotye. (I figured they were pretty much the same person.) But then I saw his recent SNL performance, and I found myself downloading his album before his second song. Sometimes you just know.
Listening to Hozier makes me feel like he and I broke up after four intense months and that it wasn't my choice. His voice is rich, his harmonies are ethereal, and it's all so dramatic in the best possible way -- especially this single.
"Lonely Boy" by The Black Keys
There are different kinds of sex, obviously, and "Lonely Boy" definitely lends it self to sex that's more... aerobic? But I could be on the subway next to someone belching the alphabet backward, and if this song comes on shuffle on my iPhone, I'm instantly put into a mini-mood.
"Gorilla" by Bruno Mars
Usually, a song this unsubtle is more likely to make me roll my eyes than unhook my bra, but there's just something about the chord progression (chord progression can be hot, OK?) and Bruno Mars's awesome voice that make me forgive (and enjoy) it in a way I never could for "Sexual Healing." (The video with Freida Pinto is nothing to sneeze at either.)
"Letters From The Sky" by Civil Twilight
I've considered the possibility that soundtracked sex may benefit from putting songs in an increasingly intense order, but this song runs through the intensity gamut all by itself. Definitely a good song to start with if you're the type to try to hold back and fail miserably.
"Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS
One day -- ONE DAY, I TELL YOU -- I will have sex that starts with slow-dancing. A silly wish? Perhaps. But a very specific one, because I'd like it to be this song to which the slow-dancing-to-undressing transition occurs.
"Atlantic" by Keane
So I definitely have a penchant for dramatically building, slightly unearthly songs with male vocalists. They make me tingly, OK? Pretty much all of Keane's first two albums are acceptable slow-sex music, but this song in particular really gets to me in the best way.
"Red Ropes" by Nicole Atkins
Oh, hey, look, a song by a gal! This is another pace-changer, but that could be a really good thing with a partner who's paying a little attention to the music and incorporating it into the experience, if ya know what I mean.
There's also a really intense live version that I've been meaning to download.
"Feel It All Around" by Washed Out
This is such a great post-sex spooning song, as long as you can keep from picturing Fred Armisen. Or, you know, picture Fred Armisen while you're spooning if that's what you're into. Picture him the whole time for all I care -- I'm not here to judge your fetishes.
I'm open to suggestions, so tell me your favorite sex songs. Also, tell me a smooth way to turn on the music without being like, "OK, turning on the sex music now."