Commentary on the Commentary: This 'Weiner Cheated Cause He's So Sexy' Post

While we at xoJane generally opt to pluck stories from headlines of our own cuh-razy lives, sometimes we just have to comment. Which we know, is what THEY want from us. Damn.

Jun 15, 2011 at 11:02am | Leave a comment

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A story trending right now on the Huffington Post alleges that Weinergate is Huma Abedin's fault for choosing to marry a physically fit, attractive man. 

"And that's where Abedin and other smart, beautiful, accomplished women often make their mistake,” writes Vicki Larson. “The more financially independent women become, the more they prefer good-looking men. But they don't just want their partners to be hotties; they want them to be masculine, physically fit, loving, educated, a few years older and making the big bucks. Oh, and they also have to really want to be a hubby and daddy. That's a tall order."

Is it? Isn't that exactly what is expected of women? And probably why Weiner was attracted to Abedin in turn?  Everyone prefers to be with someone they deem good-looking (though I’m not exactly sure when people started calling Anthony Weiner a heartthrob).

The solution to the Weiner problem, according to Larson, is to stop expecting so much from our men, particularly in the looks category. I don’t understand why anyone would imply that it's Abedin’s fault her husband did disgusting things to her.

Even more, I don’t see how this has anything to do with Weiner’s appearance. The logic of her argument, which has over 6,000 Facebook likes right now (is this perhaps the work of some sort of shlubby man lobby?) is so flawed it takes only a very recent memory of political scandals to disprove. Strauss Khan, anyone? Was he a hunka-hunka burning love?

Here's another choice quotation: “So, now that Abedin evidently has Weiner's good genes, she can either stick it out another few years or split from Weiner now, before their unborn baby will have memories of the divorce, and while she's still young and attractive enough to snag another mate. This time, perhaps she should go ugly.” Yes, I’m sure the first thought that comes to any pregnant woman’s mind when she is devastated by her husband’s infidelity is, “I got your genes, Sucka! Time to go and bag me another man!”

What horrible, regressive advice to dole out to women. Not to mention incorrect. If it all came down to looks, no Hollywood starlet would be left in the dust and no one with six-pack abs would ever be lonely. Fortunately, we're much more complicated than that.

And is it really such an enormously tall order to expect our husbands and boyfriends to actually be the man they present to us on a daily basis and to honor the commitments that they willingly bound themselves to? Does the stress of having to be a good human and a supportive partner coupled with a gym membership really crumple these men’s self-control to the point that they can see no other option but to sext a penis photo to a college student?

Ultimately, we have no way of knowing how close they were as a couple, why they chose to marry or what in the hell he was thinking when he took those photos.

But either way, I very much doubt Weiner is feeling all that hot right now.