Here's your place to come talk about sex and love whenever you feel like it.
I met a guy on Tinder over a year ago. I like him, but time tells all, right? And so far, time has revealed that we are crazy cool. Laughter between us is a constant. And I'd like to think we share a lot with each other: family woes, work, life, the highs and lows.
And the sex—omg the sex!—is worthy of a round of applause. I've wanted to give us a standing ovation between the sheets on more than one occasion. (No, really, once while walking down a city block together we were reminiscing about a recent episode and we had to stop, pause and give each other high fives for a job well done.)
I tried to keep it light for as long as I could; recreational dating is a sport that I've yet to master. Historically, when I date a man for months and sleep with him, he becomes my man. I knew we were not there, but where were we? To avoid any further confusion, one day before I left for a business trip, I went for it. While he was over at my place, I finally let him know that I was checking for him with as little pressure as possible.
"I genuinely like the friendship we have. I enjoy you. And if we keep going like this, we'll... I just don't want to get caught up unnecessarily."
He responded, "I know we are super cool. And just because you're cool like the homie doesn't mean I can treat you like the homie. If you're a woman I'm courting, and you are. I mean, I would definitely feel a way if I walked into a place and saw you with someone. I'd walk up on you like, hey who's this, your cousin?!"
Stop and take that in for a moment.
Then he paused, looked at me, shook his head up and down positively and continued, "When you get back, I want to introduce you to everyone… I mean, my boys."
I was taken aback, but happy.
That was three months ago.
We still keep in touch, but I feel the distance between us now. We've seen each other, but something has changed. We're still dancing, but I'm not familiar with this song.
It's like... have you ever been at a really good party and you're hyped AF on the dance floor? Maybe a little too hyped? You're sweating and ish, dropping it, wining (or twerking, if that's your thing) and looking back at it. Throwing your head back and hands up with cries of excitement and then suddenly the DJ plays a song that Fs up your groove. You calm down a bit, but you keep with a two-step because the DJ has been so consistent and you believe he's going to come back with a banger. The next song plays and your like, "Where is he going with this?!" And then you start to think... it's time for me to get off the dance floor. The music is still playing, but it's not your song anymore.
That's we're I'm at with this… with him. I'm here for the party, but the music he's playing lately is killing my vibe. And I can't help but wonder, "Is the party done?!"
This post originally appeared on essence.com: About This Tinder Guy Situationship: Is This Party Over?