Fertility - xoJane

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: I'm The Best Patient Ever!

Michelle Tea — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 14:30:00 -0500

I am bizarrely proud of myself and immediately want Marina to hang out in the room praising me for nonsense all day. The best patient!

Michelle Tea: “You know why a man becomes a gynecologist?”

Michelle Tea — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 15:00:00 -0400

“He’s going to take this -- wand,” I warn her, “And put it up your hooch.” Dashiell makes a terrible face. “It’s like he’s playing a video game. He’s going to get it up there and clear a screen of Ms. Pac-Man.”

I'm Doing IVF and It Landed Me In the Hospital

B.B. White — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 15:30:00 -0400

Within two weeks, my bloated lower abdomen could easily be mistaken for a real second trimester pregnancy and I felt as though my ovaries were suspended like a puppet by a thin string, bobbing up and down painfully when I sat or stood too quickly.

It Happened To Me: When I Was 16 I Found Out That I Couldn't Have Children.

Lorraine — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:00:00 -0400

My mother said, “Lorraine, you know you can’t have a baby."

Michelle Tea: My Eggs Are Busted

Michelle Tea — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 15:00:00 -0400

Every now and then something surges inside me and I think, that’s a feeling. But then it goes away.

When Do I Need To Know If I Want To Have Kids?

Julieanne — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:00:18 -0400

I'm embarrassed to admit to you and to anybody that I'm not sure how I feel about babies at a time when it's maybe most important for me to know.

Motherhood Does Not Make Every Woman a Better Writer (Or a Better Person Either)

Lesley — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 13:00:23 -0400

One novelist argues that having children makes women better able to write powerful feelings and relationships. I'm saying no.

MICHELLE TEA: "Talking on the Phone Is For Teenagers"

Michelle Tea — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 17:00:26 -0400

KNOW WHAT’S AWESOME? HEALTH INSURANCE, I tweet, feeling the sensation of my life changing as my life is being changed.

Michelle Tea: "The Way You Do Anything is the Way You Do Everything"

Michelle Tea — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 10:00:26 -0400

I call Planned Parenthood and they refer me to the local teaching hospital. A review calls the hospital ‘almost a non-profit’, and I’m sold. I make a call and their financial person calls me right back. I get off the phone feeling like it’s less expensive than I thought – maybe not even expensive after all! This is a phenomenon already known to me as the Barneys Effect.

Michelle Tea: Don't Get Me Started on Fathers

Michelle Tea — Fri, 04 May 2012 16:30:34 -0400

A great Dad is really most certainly amazing, it is also a rarity, and so in 90 percent of the cases having no dad at all beats having a shitty Dad.

Michelle Tea: This Is Totally The Kind of Drug Addict I Am

Michelle Tea — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 12:00:42 -0400

If these shady drugs don’t hook me up with a belly full of triplets or at least one good set of conjoined twins within six months, I think it’s time to move on to the harder stuff.

Michelle Tea: Imagine How You Would Feel If You Just Stabbed Your Bestie in the Cervix

Michelle Tea — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:00:20 -0400

It suddenly occurs to me that I can TOTALLY have a baby. This body can do that. I think I doubt it a lot. I’m impatient, and get discouraged easily. It’s why I don’t have a driver’s license.

Michelle Tea: Every Second, Sperm are Dying

Michelle Tea — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:00:16 -0500

I’m not positive, but I think that trying to get yourself knocked up is considered private business in the mainstream heterosexual universe, like money.

The Cervical Cancer Diaries: Infants Freak Me Out Anyway

Devon Moos — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 14:00:14 -0500

I think I audibly heard my oncologist breathe a sigh of relief when I outwardly told him my health was more important than fertility. Based on his reaction, I don't think that happens often.

Michelle Tea: This Fertility Clinic Costs As Much As A Half-Off Alexander Wang Bag!

Michelle Tea — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:00:20 -0500

It only takes a three-minute phone call outside my preferred, sweet queer bubble to come up against an attack of fierce self-protective hate and anger at being provoked to feel low-self-esteem at the hands of a fertility clinic receptionist.

Michelle Tea: The Last Insemination

Michelle Tea — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 14:00:14 -0500