Sarah - xoJane

Thanks For Sharing Those Personal Stories Of Pain and Heartbreak, Dudes, But We Won't Be Having Sex Now

Sarah — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 12:30:00 -0500

I call this the sad-to-sex routine: Guy tells me his Tragic Story, then tries to get handsy. No, thank you.

The World's Worst Doctor Is Giving Me Thin Pills and I Don't Know How To Stop

Sarah — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 10:00:00 -0500

If I wanted to go to a professional regarding the amount of jiggle I'm packin', I would have chosen a trainer or nutritionist, not a psychiatrist.

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: A Guide to Unruining Your Stuff for Total Messes

Sarah — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 17:00:00 -0400

Hello. My name is Sarah, and I am disastrous person.

I Was Sexually Assaulted on the NYC Subway and the Cops Did Nothing

Sarah — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 09:00:00 -0400

The officer chuckled. "Frankly, there's nothing we can do." My eyes were wide with disbelief as I saw her fold up the paper she had been writing on and open the passenger door of the car. "And my suggestion?" she offered. "If you have the cash, take a cab home."

A Tale of Two T@#$ies: How I DIsguise My Mismatched Set

Sarah — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 16:00:00 -0400

While my right breast had developed into a full, rounded, cleavable C cup, my left breast had grown into a pert little teardrop-shaped mound, sitting inches higher than her partner.

New Lung Cancer Awareness Campaign Asks: "Who Deserves to Die?"

Sarah — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 15:00:21 -0400

Much like other diseases that many people mistakenly pass off as the end result of an individual's weak will in the face of overwhelming vice, lung cancer is often treated with an attitude that blames the sick, rather than treating them with the compassion they deserve.

I Miss the "Mean Girls"

Sarah — Fri, 18 May 2012 18:00:23 -0400

For many people with self-esteem problems, there is comfort in the status quo. Once I had banished all the assholes from my life, I realized it was something I strangely craved.

Just A Few of the Things I've Put in My Vagina

Sarah — Mon, 14 May 2012 18:00:22 -0400

The human body is a miracle! Let's stuff things into it.

Wedding Countdown: What Should I Do With a Windfall?

Sarah — Wed, 09 May 2012 17:00:19 -0400

While 22-year-old me might have rented a party bus and bought a case of Moet, these days, I'm a grown-ass lady. What do I do with the $$$?

7 Months Til My Wedding: Suck My (Vera) Wang

Sarah — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 10:00:22 -0400

My first experience trying on wedding gowns may have put me off the whole thing forever. Help me pick a dress online?

I Have 8 Months to Get Ready For My Wedding. Got Tips?

Sarah — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 10:00:25 -0400

Since getting married is no longer the compulsory life event for women that it once was, a lot of us are feeling a little weirdly unprepared for the whole wedding industrial complex thing.

How Are We Still Playing "Guess My Race"?

Sarah — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 11:00:21 -0400

While it's one thing to have your own family jokingly question your parentage, it's quite another when the questions come at you from strangers.

How to Break Up With Chris Brown (or Any Celebrity) For Good

Sarah — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 09:00:15 -0500

I propose that in the future, instead of putting him on the front page of every website every time he throws a chair through a window or spends a day on the beach screaming at seagulls (seriously, WTF?), we turn a blind eye.

Say Something Nice: Sarah Crow

Sarah — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 16:45:18 -0500

The Women of 'The View' Need to Take a Sexual Harrassment Course

Sarah — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 18:00:16 -0500

Adrien Brody kissing Halle Berry made headlines for months, but nobody bats an eye when Joy Behar sticks Hugh Jackman's hand between her thighs?

Toilet Paper Substitute, Shaving With Olive Oil, and More Tips for the Super Broke

Sarah — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 10:00:07 -0500

I'm accustomed to the finer things in life, like wiping and meals, and I've found ways to survive despite having to pay for everything in change.

I Almost Died When Doctors Didn't Believe I Was Sick

Sarah — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 14:00:08 -0500

It was not PMS, you dicks.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Firecrotch

Sarah — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:00:09 -0500

While I imagined the girls around me to be growing shiny strips of Barbie hair or dense, chesnut 70's porn afros between their legs, my body did me the indignity of daubing the tiniest smear of strawberry on my otherwise ungarnished muffin.

Let's All Agree Not to Be Bitches at Work

Sarah — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 11:00:18 -0400

I'm here today to present an idea about working women that may be as unpopular as the thought of wearing an Ann Taylor Loft sweater dress without Spanx: Being a bitch is a bad and crazy idea.   

The Worst Movies I Have Actually Had Sex While Watching

Sarah — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 18:00:10 -0400

Are we really going to do this during "The Pianist"?